Thank you, Winnipeg, for the best story of the year

See, if you're going to have a child, you're best off to actually say their given name out loud before you give it, with all possible permutations.  Just saying, Mr. and Mrs. Bonner.

Toronto FC host FC Dallas today at BMO Field with a 4pm kickoff (CBC for TV coverage) in a key MLS game for the Reds, who need to start grabbing three points for wins at home instead of the singles for ties, especially against a team like Dallas that they're fighting for a playoff birth against.  This is the middle of a three game week for TFC, with an August 27th Champions League date against Honduran side Club Deportivo Motagua on Tuesday night at BMO Field.  Speaking of TFC, Jason DeVos at the CBC looks at the squad at the roughly mid-point of the season.

A Muslim cleric in Malaysia has banned his 81 million followers from wearing Manchester United gear because their Red Devil logo promotes, well, satan.  Quoting from Deadspin here, so you're not thinking it was me editorializing: "Also banned: Barcelona, and the national jerseys of Brazil, Portugal, and Serbia (that one's probably not an issue) because they feature crosses on their crest. I'm going to assume Israel's jersey, because it doesn't feature any religious symbols, is totally kosher in Malaysia."

Love this story out of Winnipeg, where a local is in hot water after repeated calls to 911 demanding that they summon the RCMP and find a way to return some stolen property.  The property?  The Winnipeg Jets. Amazing.  But wait...it gets better.  When told that enough was enough and the police were coming, he asked "if you’re coming to get me, can you bring me some smokes?"  Best story of the year?  Just may be.

Not sure which of these Mike Vick stories I find harder to believe: that the Eagles viewed him as the least likely QB they'd deal entering this off-season, or that offensive co-ordinator Marty Mornhinweg says he's back and he expect some very big things out of him this year.

This report has the New York Yankees as the most likely to acquire Dan Haren.  Memo to Brian Cashman: do it, especially if the centrepiece is Joba Chamberlain.

Whatever happened to that creepy Nike ad with Tiger Woods and his dad doing the voiceover?

Disposable razors lasting months?  Thanks to this trick, maybe.  Haven't tested it but will with the new Shick Hydro 5 which I've found lasts a solid three weeks, and this is coming from a guy who shaves his head and face daily.

Pete Rose had a lot of hits in his career, but this might be the best one yet.  How is he pulling this?

The new coach of the French national soccer team - Laurent Blanc - has suspended the entire team for their opening game of Euro 2012 qualifying for their act in South Africa.  Yeah, boot a bunch of quitters for a game - that'll teach them!  But at least Frenchman Thierry Henry scored a beauty of a goal, and had a great start in New York Red Bull colours, according to this report.