So-bad-hia

If 10 Major League Baseball teams dropped payrolls by $10 million or more this off-season, what do you figure that means for NHL teams going into this off-season?...the Seattle Sounders have sold more season tickets than the Mariners. Who would've guessed that?...Cleveland Indians pitcher and last year's Cy Young winner Cliff Lee never gave up more than 6 runs in a start last year. Yesterday? A converted touchdown and Cinderella's chariot turned into a pumpkin...the Champion's League quarter finals start this week with two games each of the next two days. Today, Villareal host Arsenal and Manchester United host Porto, where they'll annihilate a team in over their heads...wonder if the Toronto Blue Jays fans at the Rogers Centre throwing things on the field will be front page news the way Toronto FC was last week in Columbus? Somehow I doubt it. Always easier to pick on soccer, after all. Barely got a mention in this morning's Toronto Star despite the Tigers walking off the field for 9 minutes...Jose Canseco has a theory that the reason Manny Ramirez received a one year offer is because he must be one of the 104 failed drug tests from 2003 and owners are trying to insulate themselves from a bad deal made worse if the list is made public. That, or he killed his image by tanking on the Boston Red Sox, is 36, has Scott Boras for an agent, and with the BoSox and Yankees out of the mix the market was greatly limited...there's a movie out called "Fanboys"? I had no idea there was a film even in the works covering Jose Calderon's fans...not much to say about last nights NCAA final, other than it was a total stomping from the opening whistle. Not sure if UNC was that much better than everyone else, or if they just really raised their game last night and have Michigan State's number. Somehow I found the tourney less compelling than prior years...the new and as-yet unnamed Dallas Cowboys stadium has the world's biggest screen, and it cost more than the original stadium cost to build...not a great start for CC Sabathia in Yankee colours, shelled and nary a strikeout. That said, if he starts as cold this year as last but finishes how he did last year, nothing to fear...your PTP for today is already up. A rare occasion where I think playing the home team on the run line - remember, they get one less at bat if they're up after 8 and a half - but liking the Cards to stomp the Pirates. Enjoy another + dollar value winnner!

Boom, outta here...

Pretty cool of the Philadelphia Phillies walking through the stands and a gauntlet of fans onto the field. Their starter last night Brett Myers may have quit drinking beer except for when watching football - a move that helped him drop 30 pounds this off season - but he pitched like the first half Myers of 2008, giving up three bombs as the reigning champs fell to the gonna-be-good Atlanta Braves. Expect a lot of Myers "boom, outta here" on The Jim Rome Show today. If you haven't heard the clip before, it is embedded below. The Bravos were a nice +121 winner if you had it...optimism may abound on baseball's Opening Day, but cold reality is going to hit in Toronto for games two and three where so far, fewer than 10,000 tickets have been sold...the NCAA final goes tonight in Detroit. Not sure about you, but I'm riding UNC to win it...the Toronto Raptors had a .220 winning percentage against teams better than .500. And somehow, GM Bryan Colangelo likes this team...the latest edition of People I Hate struck me on the way to the office this morning. People Who Don't Clean Their Car Off After A Snowfall. Turning on your windshield wipers is not cleaning your car off, you ignorant fools. I've contemplated starting a campaign where I buy a box of cheap brushes that I fire at cars who don't bother. If drinking and driving is sheer idiocy - and it is - this isn't far behind. If you can't see out of 3/4 of your cars windows, you're an accident waiting to happen...speaking of accidents, did you see WrestleMania? The Undertaker is lucky he can walk today after botching a dive out of the ring and going head first into the floor. Looked very, very bad. Overall, a great card and the final match - Triple H vs. Randy Orton - was pretty much the lone dud. I love Free To Air!...Manchester United looks like they'll be selling Cristiano Ronaldo this summer if the stories of them inking Franck Ribery from Bayern Munich are true. As great as Ronaldo can be, and he sure was yesterday, like this move. Ribery comes cheaper, and is a fantastic young player with a lot less drama...the New York Giants will likely trade for Braylon Edwards on draft day if the Cleveland Browns can manage to draft a top of the line receiver to replace him. You heard it here first...if you like stats going into your wagering decisions, Yankees starter CC Sabathia is 5-0, 2.38 against Baltimore in his career, 3-0, 2.60 in four starts at Camden Yards...how about the 10 Girliest Sports Fights?...back with your PTP later.

Play ball!

Not sure what blew more yesterday: the wind at BMO Field or the performance of the home Toronto FC, who looked like the expansion side in a thoroughly deserved 2-0 loss to the Seattle Sounders. Very disappointing...and then there are the Toronto Raptors, winners of six straight essentially meaningless games. Can't say I've watched a minute of Raptors ball in the last month, likely the first such stretch since their inception...the Major League Baseball season starts tonight with the Philadelphia Phillies hosting the Atlanta Braves. Freaking love baseball..the Toronto Sun's trio of baseball writers all have the hometown Blue Jays pegged to finish under .500 in year eight of GM JP Ricciardi's vaunted five year plan...I believe it was GBV who yesterday predicted Mickey Rooney as "Randy The Ram" comes in to beat Chris Jericho at WresleMania tonight. That'd be something to mark out for. Me, I'm looking forward to the Diva Battle Royal which will bring back some of the stars of yesteryear like Sunny...Michigan State and North Carolina will play for the NCAA championship tomorrow. UNC crushed the Spartans by 35 in December, for what it is worth...why the New York Yankees will make the playoffs this year: they won't have 40% of their starts being made by Darrell Rasner and Sidney Ponson...and on this day, the 15th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death, here's one look at the top ten Nirvana songs...for today's PTP, playing the Atlanta Braves at +121. Enjoy!

Coming home

As ideas go, the idea of dropping a basketball court into the very middle of a domed football stadium is not a great one. Expect a very poor atmosphere tonight at Ford Field for the Final Four. Pretty sad when you've got to spend good money to essentially watch the game on a big screen because you're so far away you can't see a thing on the court. I'm liking UConn and UNC to emerge victorious and set up the final match-up Monday, though Michigan State is essentially playing at home and could punk UConn...at the opposite end of atmosphere will be BMO Field today for the home debut for 2009 of the undefeated Toronto FC as they face the expansion - and very good - Seattle Sounders FC. The Sounders have opened at 2-0 but won't have their 21-year old Columbian scoring ace Fredy Montero, who not only has been accused of sexual assault in the last week, but also stalking. I'm counting on TFC to go back to Fortress BMO form and win this one. Montero's might not ever visit Toronto. Word is Juventus is hot on his trail which means there are surely other squads chasing. If you're attending, drop by the beer vendors around Section 114 pre-game and at the half. Mango is thirsty!...the New York Giants have cut Plaxico Burress. Only question is what took them so long? It's been over four months since he took target practice on himself...it only took a couple days since he was cut by the Detroit Tigers, but Gary Sheffield is now a New York Met. I haven't read much about CitiField but presumably the outfield is a lot smaller than the mammoth one that was at Shea Stadium. Don't think you'd want that butcher in a large outfield...it was only an exhibition game, but the New York Yankees and Mets both won their openers last night in their new digs...if you're gonna lose, lose big, and that's what the Cleveland Cavs did in last night's PTP, getting crushed by the Orlando Magic. In other wagers, won my first ever golf wager as I took Anthony Kim (+120) to beat Ernie Els in the first round of the Houston Open, completed yesterday. Today, we're playing Chelsea -.5 -1 +106 to ruin Alan Shearer's debut as manager of Newcastle United. That's solid value for a team that has to win to stay in the race against a team that, well, isn't good...that's all I've got today, time to bust open a beer shortly for TFC prep. So freaking jacked!!

Cutting bait

So if Matt Cassel costs a second round draft picks, how is Jay Cutler and a fifth round draft pick worth Kyle Orton and a pair of first rounders, plus a third from the Chicago Bears? And here I thought Denver was in a tough spot with the trade demands and need to trade so obvious...Michael Kay of the Yankee Network on Derek Jeter batting leading off: "That's 162 at bats that Jeter won't hit into a double play." Ouch. The bloom is falling off the rose more everyday when guys like Kay are cracking like that...Peter Gammons lists the three best teams in baseball as the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays. The AL East is going to be scary if that holds true...that eerie silence you hear in the Toronto area is the calm before the storm that is going to hit BMO Field tomorrow when Toronto FC make their 2009 home debut. Cannot. Freaking. Wait. Coverage is on CBC at 4pm for those not able to get in or further away...North Carolina guard Ty Lawson is already a winner at the Final Four, winning $250 at a Detroit casino last night. The rest of his teammates were down about the same in Windsor area peeler joints. I'm only guessing on the latter. Also in that article is the lame revelation that Caesar's in Windsor is suspending wagering on the Final Four this weekend at the request of the NCAA...the normally mild mannered Cito Gaston went off over revelations that Roger Clemens had a hand in having him fired, calling him an asshole among other things. Sure he may have had a hand in Gaston's dismissal, but Clemens performance in Toronto is the only thing that made keeping him a possibility...in Germany's World Cup qualifier Wednesday, striker Lukas Podolski got into it with captain and all-round douche-bag and perennial second place man Michael Ballack. There's video below of how that went. Of course, the German camp says all is fine...the New York Yankees will open their new palace tonight against the Chicago Cubs. You can watch here at 7:05 tonight, and check out pics of this incredible new building here, and video here, and finally, panorama shots here...what do the LA Lakers, Boston Celtics and Washington Wizards have in common? They're the only teams to beat the Cleveland Cavs twice this season...some curious jersey's here. Including the obligatory clowns with #69, you get a Carolina Hurricanes jersey with a Hartford Whalers logo. Hid. E. Ous...the English Premier League is back in action tomorrow after the international break. Will Manchester United take the defibrilators to their title chances and down Aston Villa Sunday? Should be a great one...back with your PTP later.

Germany's Lukas Podolski does what everyone in the world wants to do to Michael Ballack...

Why, SI, why?

Damn you, Sports Illustrated, for cursing the hopes of my beloved New York Yankees with your almost bullet proof cover jinx...not sure how it took so long, but finally word has come that Cleveland Browns wideout - soon to be "former" wideout - Donte Stallworth was indeed impaired when he hit and killed a man in Florida. He blew a mere .126...Michael Vick hopes to earn $10 million when he gets out of prison and returns to the NFL. The return part remains a question. There is no chance he's pulling $10 million a year...wonder if pulling hair is against the NHL code of fighters? How very sporting!....Miss Universe - from Venezuela - toured Guantanamo Bay and called the facility housing some of the worlds biggest alleged terrorists "calm and beautiful" and "fun". The comments were shortly thereafter removed from a website but it begs the question: if she thinks so highly of Gitmo, what does that say of Venezuela?...the hockey Hall of Fame will now enshrine women in its hallowed halls. Upset by this ruling was Hayley Wickenheiser, who felt the men should retain their own place and the women should leave them alone...how bad a guy and player must you be when a team is willing to pay you $14 million for you to go away? Answer? Pretty bad, and your name is Gary Sheffield...perhaps the rudest move you're every going to see in a hockey shootout, courtesy of RM reader TS. Incredible...I was listening to yesterday's Drive This on podcast this morning and guest Mike Florio of ProFootballTalk.com mentioned that the Denver Broncos may be trading Jay Cutler to the NY Jets for the rights to Brett Favre which prompted laughter that the Broncos would take a step from a guy who likes throwing interceptions, to a guy who is the king of interceptions. On and on the discussion went before it was finally revealed it was an April Fool's joke. Bastards. Yet for some reason, doesn't seem that ridiculous, does it?...back later with your PTP, have a great Thursday.

March PTP

• Mar. 31 - Penn State +4.5 (14-14-2, -$72) (42-43-2, -$224)
• Mar. 30 - UTEP +1 -110 (13-14-2, -$172) (41-43-2, -$324)
• Mar. 29 - UNC -7 -103 (13-13-2, -$62) (41-42-2, -$214)
• Mar. 28 - France -1 -103 (12-13-2, -$162) (40-42-2, -$314) - PUSH
• Mar. 27 - Michigan St, Pick -103 (12-13-1, -$162) (40-42-1, -$314) - W
• Mar. 26 - Miami/Chicago U 203 -105 (11-13-1, -$262) (39-42-1, -$414) - W
• Mar. 25 - Boston/Orlando U 189.5 -105 (10-13-1, -$362) (38-42-1, -$514) - W
• Mar. 24 - Duke (Women) -6 -105 (9-13-1, -462) (37-42-1, -$614) - L
• Mar. 22 - Missouri -4 -105 (9-12-1, -$357) (37-41-1, -$509) - PUSH
• Mar. 21 - Washington -1 -105 (9-12, -$357) (37-41-1, -$509) - L
• Mar. 20 - Florida -5, Utah -1.5, San Diego St. -4.5 (9-11, -$252) (37-40-1, -$404) - L/W/W
• Mar. 19 - Butler +1.5 -101, Michigan +5.5 -101 (7-10, -$351) (35-39-1, -$503) - L/W
• Mar. 18 - Baylor -3 -104 (6-9, -$350) (34-38-1, -$502) - L
• Mar. 17 - Oakland -4 -104 (6-8, -$246) (34-37-1, -$398) - W
• Mar. 16 - New Jersey/Denver U 204.5 -105 (5-8, -$346) (33-37-1, -$498) - L
• Mar. 12 - Pittsburgh -4 -104 (5-7, -$242) (33-36-1, -$394) - L
• Mar. 11 - Detroit U 206 -105 (5-6 -$138) (33-35-1, -$290) - L
• Mar. 10 - Indiana +3.5 -110 (5-5, -$32) (33-34-1, -$186) - L
• Mar. 9 - Niagara +3.5 -104 (5-4, +$78) (33-33-1, -$ 76) - L
• Mar. 8 - Montreal/Dallas O 5.5 -104 (5-3, +$182) (33-32-1, +$28) - L
• Mar. 7 - Auburn -2 -105 (5-2, +$286) (33-31-1, +$132) - W
• Mar. 6 - Denver Nuggets +9 -105 (4-2, +$186) (32-31-1, +$32) - W
• Mar. 5 - Dallas Mavs/New Orleans U 195.5 -105 (3-2, +$86) (31-32-1, -$68) - W
• Mar. 4 - NC State -2 -105 (2-2, -$14), (30-32-1, -$168) - W
• Mar. 3 - Oklahoma St. -5 -104 (1-2, -$114) (29-32-1, -$268) - W
• Mar 2 - Colorado Avs -114 (0-2, -$214) (28-32-1, -368) - L
• March 1 - Manchester United -1 +100 (0-1, -$100) (28-31-1, -$254) - L
• OPEN - 28-30-1 -$154

Don't Be A Fool

Another installment today of People I Hate and this one is an easy one, especially today. Yes, it could only be The Fools Who Dig April Fools. Yes, you may think it hilarious pulling your little stunts today and punctuating them by screaming "April Fools!" but the joke isn't only on you, the joke is you - not today, every day...not surprisingly, the Denver Broncos will indeed move Jay Cutler as this off-season drama continues. If it gets much worse, it may one day be as big a circus as the Brett Favre fiasco last year. Peter King at Sports Illustrated says it'll happen before the draft - the trade, not the topping of the Favre fiasco, of course..now this is the kind of action that speaks to fans in a tough economic climate: the New York Mets are lowering beer prices at CitiField...good ideas: the NFL moving to an 18 game schedule and killing a couple exhibition games, and holding the Super Bowl on a set weekend. Bad idea: moving the conference championship games to neutral sites. I'm always for anything that gives value and emphasis to the regular season, and home field advantage should apply to somebody, and not merely in choice of uniforms...the Toronto Maple Leafs signed Notre Dame centre Christian Hanson - son of one of the Hanson brothers of "Slap Shot!" fame. Prepare for an onslaught of references to tin foil on knuckles among others that will tie him to that movie...it feels like it has been a long time between UFC events, but that ends tonight with UFC Fight Night Live on Spike TV - free - tonight...the Boston Celtics will sit out Kevin Garnett for their next four games. Wise move, that. Get your horse ready for the important games coming...a whole heap of World Cup qualifying games are on the schedule today, and that's where we're going for your PTP to start April. Turkey may be a tough place to play, but playing Spain on the money line at +130 today. Only a tie can do us in, because a loss just won't happen with the red hot Spanish team. Enjoy.

Piazza hit the juice?

ESPN Insider says that if Wade Phillips gets axed by the Dallas Cowboys, former Denver Broncos coach Mike Shanahan is ready to step in. If that is the case, do it now, Jerry Jones. A lame-duck Phillips is not going to get that team turned around to the extent that talent needs...on the cover of today's Toronto Sun is pictures of a Toronto FC fan in Columbus getting tasered post-game on Saturday when a few fights broke out. Check out the quotes by somebody named "Chris" in this article. Not to go conspiracy theory, but I have a hard time believing any fan goes to a game and can claim to be shocked by some of the smack talk and these quotes seem fabricated...it is a mad, mad world if David Beckham remains the highest paid soccer player. Really, there isn't one guy in this top 10 I wouldn't prefer to have over him...Michigan State has made the Final Four in 5 of the last 11 years. Yet somehow, Duke gets all the love from the media and seeding committee...I know TSN Sportscentre is to be a slightly modified (translation: hockey loaded) version of the ESPN one, but it has a long way to go before it even becomes half that good. After 10 days with the latter, can't say I miss Bob McKenzie in the least, not when I can see all sports covered, documentary type stories, fantasy updates and views and far better reporters and an overall lack of stuffiness...Jeff Pearlman - who wrote the fantastic book that looked at the 1990's Dallas Cowboys "Boys Will Be Boys" - has another called "The Rocket That Fell To Earth" covering Roger Clemens. Among the revelations, he quotes Reggie Jefferson as saying everybody knows Mike Piazza was taking steroids. Wonder if Piazza will have a presser to announce he's never used, and reiterate he's not gay? Clemens started using his second year in Toronto - after a fantastic first year - and had a part to play in Cito Gaston's firing, among other things...there is going to be one hell of a press conference coming in the next day or two as the Detroit Tigers have released the live wire that is Gary Sheffield...have a great Tuesday, back later.


Guitar Hero Metallica. As if you needed more evidence Lars Ulrich is only about money.

One Tiger Roars, Another Whimpers

Detroit Tiger Dontrelle Willis has been placed on the DL for anxiety. I guess when you've lost velocity, can't hit the plate, and have the pressure of a huge contract, you tend to get anxious...good of the Toronto Raptors to roll off four straight wins which will only serve to worsen their draft position. Of course, Jose Calderon is pumping up these four wins as being what this team is about and in typical Jose fashion, ignoring they're not exactly beating playoff bound teams because, well, they don't. They'll never win anything under that guy at the point, and yes, I say that after his 22 point 19 dime game - against Chicago...wonder if NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman is working on his list of excuses he'll be using come playoff time when there are scores of empty seats in arenas league wide?...Tiger Woods did what Tiger Woods does in coming back from five shots back to win the Arnold Palmer Invitational, and set up the global media heading to Augusta for the Masters with the requisite "Second Coming" stories...Jason Taylor could be the next signing by the New England Patriots. Why is it that you can see one team sign older players - thinking Washington Redskins here - and you know it won't work out, but the Pats sign a guy and in this case, the same guy the Redskins signed a year prior, and you figure it will end well?...it is WrestleMania week, and you know your faithful blogger will do his best to work in some past and present wrestling stuff. Today, the Top 10 Old School Promos...the long-running joke about Playboy is that one reads it for the articles. That may not be entirely true, but their articles are absolutely top notch regardless of field. The latest issue has a great piece on Barry Bonds and the treatment he has received. It's a long one, but well worth the read...less than a week until the MLB season starts, man I'm jacked for that...have a great Monday, back later with your PTP.

Check out this creepy laugh...

SuperNova

Wonder how TV ratings were hit by Earth Hour? Suggestion for improvement: in future years, always hold it on a night when American Idol is on. Multiple benefits result...Toronto FC battled hard and after being on the wrong end of a questionable penalty kick call, saw justice served with Columbus scoring on their own goal late to give the Reds a much deserved draw. 4 points of 6 on the road to start bodes well. Next Saturday, 20,000 rock BMO Field to take on the Seattle Sounders in the home opener for 2009...not sure I've ever seen a better close to a basketball game than the finish in the Villanova win over Pitt last night. Do yourself a solid and catch the hilites below. As also predicted yesterday, 'Nova and UConn advanced. Today, Michigan State faces Louisville and North Carolina takes on Oklahoma State to sort out the last two births in the Final Four. Me likes Louisville (but Michigan State to cover the 7)and UNC...Terrell Owens says he was blindsided by his Dallas Cowboys release. I could see where he felt betrayed after being told by owner Jerry Jones he wasn't going anywhere, but blindsided? Not so much. Speaking of the Cowboys, Jones says they're looking to add an athletic, versatile third string QB to run some different packages, believed to be the Wildcat. Hey, isn't Michael Vick coming free soon? Don't be surprised if...Derek Jeter, meet your replacement at Short Stop for 2010 and get ready to play Centre Field...two projected NFL first round draft picks have allegedly failed drug tests. In other news, the Cincinnati Bengals are said to be working on acquiring a second first round pick...Florida Marlins star Hanley Ramirez is not too happy the team instituted a policy that forbade braids, so he had to cut his lettuce. In response, he Sharpied a message across his chest that said "I'm sick of this shit" and said he wants a trade. Brian Cashman, nevermind the previous guy, get H.R.! Damn, the Yankees have a policy about hair, too...love hearing that a prostitute broke down an apartment door and demaned - demanded! - that three men have sex with her for $10. Bonus points to the author of this article for noting she had been "banging" on the door...in case you haven't seen the shot LeBron James hit for 60 Minutes tonight, here it is...your PTP for today is North Carolina -7 -103. Get on it!

Eff You, Crew

Dallas Stars, Texas Rangers and Liverpool owner Tom Hicks has decided that after the Sean Avery fiasco, future Stars free agents must undergo psychological testing. No word if future Rangers need to undergo performance enhancing drug testing or if any future Reds need to be tested for post game thuggery in pubs...a full slate of international games have taken over the soccer world, except in the MLS where Toronto FC will travel to Columbus to face the defending champion Crew, and bring 2,000 of their fans along. TFC is +404 on the money line for this one, thanks in part to being minus Carl Robinson and Amado Guevara, who are off playing qualifying games for Wales and Honduras, respectively. Wonder if the TV coverage (GoalTV at 7pm) will show a sign the TFC fans made that reads "Fuck You, Crew"..after being called a bad example because of his drug addled past by Pele, soccer legend Diego Maradona replied that he wasn't sure if Pele was a good example or a bad example because he lost his virginity "to a man." It may be 2009, but never too late for a little homophobia it seems...sometimes you see a coach get fired and figure "he'll have a job in five minutes." This is not one of those times. Canada's Men's National soccer team finally put an end to the joke that was Dale Mitchell's reign. Only thing I can't figure is why they took so long. Don't expect to see Mitchell near any team with aspirations again...the NCAA train just keeps on rolling with the first Elite Eight games today - quarterfinals in every other sport. Liking UConn to down Missouri and Villanova to knock out Pitt...for today's PTP, playing France -1 -103 at Lithuania. That one kicks off at 3:45.

Rando returns Saturday afternoon.

The Duke of Done-chester

Cleveland Browns coach Eric Mangini is looking to bring Brett Favre in to work with the Browns QB's at camp. I'm not sure how effective he'll be working with Derek Anderson or Brady Quinn, but the confidence of the defensive backs will sure skyrocket if Favre is stepping back to demonstrate. How long until the story becomes that Favre "has the itch" again?...I was most pleased to find that when you type "booooo" in a BlackBerry, the spell checker suggests "Boston". No joke...had Villanova at +125 on the money line. Adios, Duke. Total beatdown. Also an easy winner was last night's "under" play in the Miami/Chicago game. Under's have been kind to this punter...Houston Astro Miguel Tejada got off with only probation for lying to Congress about his steroid use. Wonder if Roger Clemens is suddenly thinking his risk level went down? Guessing not, as your risk level tends to stay static when you are convinced you're right...Columbus Blue Jacket goalie Steve Mason has pulled 10 shutouts in his rookie season. Not bad for a guy who started in the minors and had a bout with mononucleosis. And to think I traded him in my keeper pool when I fell out of the race in anticipation of Montreal Canadien Carey Price being the better play going forward. All Price has done since is prove me wrong...speaking of the Habs, it is fun - even when it would never, ever happen - watching Habs fans squirm suggesting not only will RIM co-CEO Jim Balsillie buy the team, but that he'll move them to Kitchener...you hear the talk of going to 17 or 18 games in the NFL also includes making the Super Bowl permanentely on President's Day weekend - the third weekend in February? That also happens to coincide with Family Day in Ontario so rather than taking a holiday to nurse what is usually a crippling hangover, now it's a regular holiday. Roger Goodell is a saint in my eyes if this happens...as if the Toronto Blue Jays didn't have enough to worry about, now BJ Ryan's velocity is falling faster than John McDonald's batting average after a 1 for 3 opening day...back with your PTP later.

A 4,800 calorie burger?

Check out this 4,800 calorie beast a minor league baseball team in Michigan is conjuring up: 1 pound of bread, five patties totally nearly two pounds, five slices of cheese, and a dollop of salsa, nacho cheese and Fritos. God bless America. Please, watch this video to see how it is made...either the entirety of the United States is terrified of the power of Barack Obama, or he's playing people to see if they take a joke seriously. After all, he couldn't have been serious about Congress looking at the Bowl Championship Series. What's next, have them tackle the NFL's overtime rules? The NHL shootout? I'm continually amazed at what is seen as a valuable use of time in an environment where the economy is crumbling globally...not only could the NFL move to 17 or 18 games, they might do it as soon as the 2011 season with the season starting in August. Now if only the NHL and NBA could trim their pre-season's to get things under way sooner and ending sooner. The world doesn't need NHL playoff hockey in June...it only took about a decade, and enough votes that it could've funded at least the lower bowl, but the Florida Marlins are finally getting their stadium, and it'll sit at the site of the now-imploded Orange Bowl...now that he's been accused of being a deadbeat dad, wonder if Toronto Raptor Chris Bosh is thinking of skipping town? Or maybe he's just looking for a disguise. I suggest he go under cover as RuPaul...so Cleveland Brown Donte Stallworth had enough time to flash his headlights at the man he ran down and killed last week, but not hit the brakes. Talk about a guy committed to running his routes...Stephen Brunt of the Globe & Mail told Prime Time Sports that Montreal Canadiens owner George Gillett was in Waterloo recently, the same place a certain Jim Balsillie resides. Very interesting...further proof that fools never learn and that Isaiah Thomas can always fool somebody, he's being looked at for a front office job in the NBA. With the LA Clippers. Right, because that'll change things...next up in the "People I Hate" series: People Who Say "I could care less." Listen closely: if you're saying that without obvious sarcasm, that means YOU DO IN FACT CARE because it is possible for you to care less than you do. I'm continually amazed how often perfectly intelligent people get that one wrong in everyday life, on TV, in movies - wherever. Write that down, clown, does it look like that means you don't care?...March Madness resumes tonight and you can look forward to Duke going out to Villanova...have a great Thursday, back with your PTP later.

Buy booze, get free hockey tickets

Nice marketing coming from the Phoenix Coyotes - buy a 1.75 litres of Smirnoff vodka and get a free ticket. No word on if you can bring the booze to the game. Shocking that a man with Polish roots like Wayne Gretzky would be pushing a Russian product...a report out of England says that 50% Liverpool owner and Montreal Canadiens owner George Gillett will be divesting himself of the Canadiens. Seems unlikely the classy Gillett would let that information leak in the Habs 100th year, but that ship seems riddled with holes of late so hard to say...it amazes me that Terrell Owens not going to voluntary camp is even a story. He never has. And if you look at the guy, a camp where you only work out is more for other guys, not for a guy who looks like he was cut from granite. Of course, the fact he's getting a public service award will not get national media play (thanks to TS for that one)..there is talk that the Buffalo Bills will be having a second regular season game in Toronto this year. Why? It isn't like the first was a roaring success unless you guage that by disgruntled fans overpaying for everything...within 48 hours of being granted an MLS franchise, the Vancouver Whitecaps took deposits for 5,000 season tickets. Amazing. More amazing is that the 'caps will be playing in BC Place and making it look spectacular, thanks to $365 million in renovations. Check this rendering out...like a parent to a child, the New York Yankees have given A-Rod a serious talking-to about not being a distraction and focusing on baseball alone. Good luck with that. Sounds like A-Rod could be back soon, with some talk he's just days away from playing. My fantasy squad thanks you, A-Rod...wow, I pick Duke's ladies hoops team and out they go. I'm the kiss of death. The Duke men's hoops team best beware...hard as it may be to believe, but the Houston Rockets are a half game out of second in the very tough NBA West...Jerry Jones wouldn't trade quarterback Tony Romo for "anybody". It is that kind of thinking that has the Cowboys sans a playoff win in over a decade...have a great Tuesday. Back with another PTP death lock later as I look to curse teams I hate. Can't believe how tough this has been when I lit up the NFL Prime Time games all season.

Nippon! Nippon!

The format could obviously use some work - simple is always best for even the most hardcore of fans - but tough to view the World Baseball Classic as anything but entertaining, if not a success. Japan wins for the second time, downing Korea 5-3 in a highly entertaining, extra inning affair. Wonder when the U.S. will have their "Dream Team" moment and see their top players say enough is enough and commit to the program for 2012? They'd have had a different look if guys like Roy Halladay, CC Sabathia and others took up the task...I must publicly apologize for questioning how Koko B. Ware could enter the WWE Hall of Fame. Why? Here's why. Check out the very homoerotic glances from Hulk Hogan and Don Muracco at the 1:18 mark right before Hogan unloads his hose, literally...a Boston bar is serving an A-Rod cocktail: a shot of tequila, with a spicy tomato juice chaser served in a syringe...so after getting shut out on the New York Yankee ticket lottery, I was shut out on the individual game sale as well. Recession? What recession?...the Denver Broncos, or at least coach Josh McDaniel's, are now saying that Jay Cutler is "our quarterback". Something tells me Cutler and his agent are going to want some a$$urance that is the case...just when you thought the NFL season was over, the preparation for another is on with news of a few notable games coming out. Pittsburgh will host Tennessee in the curtain raiser to the season. Dallas will host Oakland on Thanksgiving while Green Bay visits Detroit and the New York Giants will travel to Denver. Fear not Buffalo Bills fans, you're getting some Prime Time coverage with a visit to New England on September 14th. The rest of the schedule should be out in about a month. Commissioner Roger Goodell also acknowledged a 17 or 18 game schedule is on the table shortly...back with your PTP later. Apologies for not getting it on yesterday - had some technical issues with the BlackBerry transmitting and was away from the P.C. For the record, it was a winner, though I can't score it to be fair.

Erek Jeter!

LeBron James is talking openly of how he may not get to face Dwayne Wade in an NBA Final but how he'd be fine facing him even if only in practice. In response, the New York Knicks started clearing cap room...Steven Gerrard scored three for Liverpool in yesterday's 5-0 fisting of Aston Villa, who have dropped two straight now and have Manchester United lined up in a couple weeks after the international break this weekend...for my money, Villanova vs Duke is the intriguing Sweet 16 matchup in the NCAA hoops parenthesis. As always, I'll be pulling for whoever faces Duke. UConn looks the most dominant at this point...if you're wondering, Barrack Obama went 14-2 in his second round picks. Much better than a weak 19-13 opening round...bottom of the 8th, down 6-4, who makes an error for the United States that allows three more runs to make it 9-4 for Japan? Derek Jeter. But it is okay, it is Jeter after all. His defence gets any worse and we'll be calling him the Jose Calderon of MLB, dubbing him "Erek" Jeter...the latest in The Life of A-Rod: he dated a former madam, in addition to him tapping some of her escorts. David Duchovny is recognizing some symptoms in Alex...hard as it may be to believe, but Detroit Tigers starters Dontrelle Willis and Nate Robertson - both one-time studs - could be done at early ages. Fire up the performance enhancing drug speculation...Jeremy Roenick calls an interview with Sidney Crosby "as boring to watch as possible." JR hasn't scored many this year, but he's lighting the red light on that one...here's some word on the NHL changing the draft lottery to factor in years out of the playoffs and factor in previous first overall picks, good ideas both. Also mentioned: Vinny Lecavalier will be a Montreal Canadien on draft day. Guaranteed...think those NCAA lines are sharp at all? So far, we've seen wins and losses as narrow as a point either way. Yesterday, a push on Missouri at -4. Tough sledding. Have a great Monday, back with your PTP later.

Watch Erek go high and wide...

TFC down KC!

Did I not tell you two weeks ago that you would wake up today to find Toronto FC sitting at 1-0 after an opening night win at Kansas City? Win they did, in impressive fashion in a thrilling 3-2 win that should've been more. Check out hilites here. Other than a missed penalty kick, Dwayne DeRosario was fantastic, and Amado Guevara scored a pair. For what it is worth, Ives Galaracep - SoccerybyIves.net's main man and MLS expert - pegs TFC to finish fourth overall and says they could be this year's Columbus Crew cinderella story...strange sites out of London yesterday during English Premier League action. In a word, sunlight...first it was Chipper Jones teeing off on Toronto, and now Sir Charles Barkley has dubbed Cleveland and Milwaukee "dreary assed" cities. I'm sure Chuck's hometown in Alabama rivals New York City or London, England...it just dawned on me that in two weeks, we'll have the start of the MLB season looming, Toronto FC's home opener, the NHL playoffs about to start, and my fav season of all looming: patio season. The heart swells, the wallet shudders...yours truly was shut out of the New York Yankees ticket lottery for this year. Sour...the Detroit Red Wings have picked up 100 points or more the last nine years...hands up: who figured the Toronto Maple Leafs would win more games this year than the Raptors? Anyone? Bueller?...not that spring training results mean a whole lot, but 3 and 16 doesn't look good for the Houston Astros...Manchester United seem hell bent on making the Premier League race interesting, delivering a horrible effort and a 2-0 loss against a very game Fulham squad. Fortunately, Luka Modric did in Chelsea with a beauty goal in a Tottenham win. Liverpool goes today against Aston Villa...today, we're playing Missouri -4. Good luck!

Cinderella's Night Songs

Damn you, Cleveland State, for putting the screws to my bracket in knocking off one of my Final Four picks in Wake Forest last night...Toronto FC kickoff their MLS season tonight when they visit the Kansas City Wizards. Despite what should be a greatly improved team, TFC is a +302 underdog tonight. Value personified...a friend of mine ran into Alexander Ovechkin and Alexander Semin on the felt at a casino in Tampa Bay on Thursday night. Sadly, nobody knew who the purported face of the NHL - along with Sidney Crosby - was. Gary Bettman thinks the southern markets are worth saving? Word is Ovechkin couldn't have been more down to earth. That, and he's a large fan of Corona...the World Baseball Classic semis go this weekend, with Korea
facing Venezuela tonight and the U.S. taking on Japan tomorrow night. Should be good stuff...Miika Kiprusoff and Martin Brodeur both needed 347 games to get their 200th win. Somehow, can't imagine Kiprusoff coming anywhere close to Brodeur's career totals when all is said and done...starting a new feature at RM that will appear periodically. It is simply entitled "People I Hate". In the opening installment, I give you People Who Wear Sunglasses Indoors. That only works for rock stars, folks. So to the clowns I see rocking their $12 gas station shades wherever, take them off, you loser. It'll stop me from rolling my eyes at your pretentiousness...playing Washington -1 today over Purdue. And TFC of course, though only the former counts for PTP now that we're all caught up, and Manchester United on the goal line - so much action!...have a great Saturday.

Champions League Quarters Revealed

The Champions League quarter-final draw went this morning, headlined by Liverpool drawing Chelsea. Defending champions Manchester United have to be the happiest of the bunch, drawing what should be the easiest matchup in FC Porto...Newcastle United striker Michael Owen has declared that he is not injury prone, despite only playing 53 English Premier League games in four years - of a possible 144. Vince Carter and AJ Burnett think that level of performance is embarrassing. Cal Ripken he is not...want VIP access to Chris Bosh' 25th birthday party? GotStyle Menswear is selling "25" shirts which begs the question, is that to represent how many wins the Toronto Raptors are striving for?...these Adolf Hitler clips on YouTube never get old. The latest itteration has him going off about Terrell Owens going to the Buffalo Bills...is there anything more predictable in the world of sports than a boxer unretiring? Floyd "Money" Mayweather is the latest, and tough not to see why when his division could be lining up a string of mega-fights against the likes of Manny Pacquiao, Ricky Hatton, Shane Mosley, and Juan Manuel Marquez...a spectacular debut for the Seattle Sounders, who thumped New York Red Bull 3-0 last night at a rocking Q-West Field. I'll leave the assessment of their crowd to GBVH...picking up on the "Derek Jeter as defensive black hole" commentary of a couple days ago, Fox Sports Ken Rosenthal is taking it a step further, saying Team USA should start Jimmy Rollins at short over Jeter...this one is for my good friend at Empties Crushed. Insurance giant AIG - a heavy recipient of U.S. government bailout funds - has issued a memo to staff about protecting their physical safety in a hostile environment, including not wearing the logo prominentely in public. This comes hot on the heels of a 4-1 beatdown by Liverpool over AIG-sponsored Manchester United last weekend. Figured I best get that in myself before G.S. takes the torch...hard to comment on March Madness when I'm still TV-less, but am hell bent on fixing that today, so I must off. That said, your PTP comes shortly.

Madness!!

If you're at all a sports fan - and I'm not even saying basketball specifically - the next four days are about as good as it gets with wall-to-wall action in the NCAA hoops tourney sometimes known as March Madness. I woke up in a panic this morning making sure I had my entries filled out before the fun starts. And hey, it isn't like I'm the President of the United States that I'm investing especially valuable time sorting out my brackets. I'm going with Wake Forest, Pitt, North Carolina and Memphis for my Final Four with Memphis to win. As Tony Kornheiser says, "who ya got?"...sticking with the subject of picks, Buffalo Bills running back Marshawn Lynch expects to be suspended for his latest brush with the law...the NFL competition committee couldn't garner enough support to change their lame overtime rules. You'd think common sense and overwhelming disdain from fans everywhere for the current setup would rule the day, but apparently not...I know Details tends to be a bit of a different magazine, but why would A-Rod take shots like this right around the time he knew Sports Illustrated was about to reveal his name as a failed test in 2003? The words "ill advised" might not be most accurate, but they're the first that come to mind...Inter Milan manager Jose Mourinho is looking to replicate his wild Chelsea shopping spree this summer, with £100m said to be set aside to chase Premier League talent including the Chelsea trio of striker Didier Drogba, John Obi Mikel and Ricardo Carvalho, Arsenal's Abou Diaby, Tottenham Hotspur's Jermaine Jenas and Manchester United's Nemanja Vidic completing the list. Meantime, another big name club - Real Madrid - is looking to bring back David Beckham. Yeah, that is going to make a difference the next time they run into a Liverpool in Champions League play...here's a tourney we can all get behind: the 2009 National Douchebag Tournament. Exciting stuff. I've got Duke, Dane Cook, Ann Coulter and Auto CEO's in my Final Four, with Auto CEO's winning in a beatdown...going to play some catchup for the missed picks of last weekend over the next few days, and have two picks posted shortly. Good luck.

PTP

Afternoon folks, playing Baylor tonight at -3. Let's hope the college hoops remain friendly.

Brodeur Breaks Record

After the somewhat-traditional Toronto Raptors green getup for St. Patrick's Day suddenly included a very Boston Celtics-like shamrock, a few Raptors rightly complained. This also marked the first time all year the team showed any pride...Martin Brodeur broke the all-time wins record for goalies in the NHL, previously held by Patrick Roy. Next up for Brodeur is the all-time shutouts record, which he needs four to break...the story of the missing and presumed dead NFLers that had their boat capsize last month is getting worse. Lone survivor Nick Schuyler told police that a one of the guys was throwing punches before going for his final swim. Madness...Steve Nash is more than a little excited over Vancouver getting an expansion franchise in the MLS, an ownership group he's part of, or at least it appears that way on his Twitter page...speaking of Twitter, which is exploding as far as I can tell, Milwaukee Buck Charlie Villanueva took it upon himself to tweet at half-time and needless to say, coach Scott Skiles was less than impressed...so far, so great for AJ Burnett in his first New York Yankee spring...in case you missed the game last night, be sure to watch the incredible World Baseball Classic hilites below between the U.S. and Puerto Rico, in which the U.S. avenged an earlier 11-1 mercy loss with a dramatic 9th inning comeback. Be sure to note, Yankee fans, that Puerto Rico had five hits, and two were to Derek Jeter's left which, like Tim Horton's, is always open...BJ Penn's mother was part of a hearing over "Greasegate" with the Nevada State Athletic Commission, who it appears will be turning the page on Penn's complaints that Georges St. Pierre was vaselined up when GSP pounded him senseless...Chipper Jones isn't a fan of Toronto, saying everything but that it is boring. If I may speak for T.O., I'd say Toronto isn't a fan of anyone named "Chipper" that has fewer than four legs...Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment are contemplating adding 8,000 seats to BMO Field to ease the 14,000 names on the waiting list for season's tickets. My vote says "no". Adding another deck to the south end would hide the best part of the stadium: the fans that rock The Bunker...finally busted the PTP losing streak with a narrow Oakland cover...back later with your Wednesday pick.

PTP

Playing Oakland -4.5 -104. Come on gambling gods...save me/us!
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Happy St. Patrick's Day

The U.S. entry in the World Baseball Classic is suffering from enough injuries that manager Davey Johnson is talking about possibly forfeiting if they run out of bodies. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, quit...speaking of notable injuries, the Philadelphia Phillies are finding out that while winning the World Series is tough, defending it is even tougher as pitching stud Cole Hamels is suffering from the dreaded mysterious arm issues. 3,400 Club, anyone?...one of the best songs of the 80's - Bon Jovi's "Wanted: Dead or Alive" - done by Jon Bon Jovi with Charlie Weis and Bill Belichick on background vocals? You can't make this stuff up...if you're thinking you will lose your NCAA pool this year - and I haven't a clue why people refer to it as a "bracket" only - here's a list of the likely winners that will take you down...continuing his whining, Jay Cutler skipped the first Denver Broncos meeting..."The Rock" Dwayne Johnson admits using steroids in the past. A wrestler and football player. So, of course, it will barely register in the public. But a baseball player does it and get out the crucifix...it may be barely a handful of games, but the reviews of Sean Avery thus far - 4 goals in 6 games and a decidedly improved New York Rangers squad - have been glowingly positive...a rare bit of trivia from RM: what brother duo has the most goals combined in NHL history? Your answer tomorrow, if not later today if one of you nails it...Dallas Cowboys cornerback Terrance Newman admits in an interview that he believe Tony Romo's relationship with Jessica Simpson has affected his performance. Of course, because it wasn't Terrell Owens commenting, it barely gets noticed...I don't believe everything SI.com's Peter King says, but when he says he believes that the NFL owners will lock out players in 2011, that gets my attention...what do you get when you're Travis Henry, former NFLer, and have 9 kids with 9 women? An obligation to pay $170k a year in support. Shame that "former" bit is going to make that tough sledding...creepy vid of some guy named Kayvon stalking Derek Jeter in Toronto at the WBC...the PTP has me convinced I'm perhaps the streakiest gambler ever...have a great Wednesday.