"You need balls to produce semen"...

Oakland A's outfielder and purported blue chip free agent this next off-season Matt Holliday has all of one homer since August 20th, including spring training...judging by the empty seats in the first half hour of the game, clearly a 7:30pm weeknight home start is too early for the Toronto FC faithful. How have they not figured that out at MLSE? Wait - I think I just answered my own question. Nonetheless, TFC dropped a 1-0 loss on previously undefeated Chivas USA in very impressive fashion. Frankly, the score flattered the visitors. Asked about the game, TFC manager John Carver thanked the PTP for dropping the hex on Chivas...Manchester United jumped three points clear of Liverpool and Chelsea after a 2-0 win over Portsmouth, and still have a game in hand. Start putting the red ribbons on the EPL trophy, it is about over...a team in Brazil's top soccer league is giving its players Viagara when they play at altitude to improve their circulation. Maybe Viagara would've cured Jay Cutler's thinking this offseason while still with Denver?...with the departure of host Richard Garner, the sports talk landscape has lost the fantasic Drive This! at Hardcore Sports Radio but the amazing duo of Cam Stewart and Gabe Morency now have a show called Morency. Said Gabe on the subject of the Montreal Canadiens: "I don't understand how any of the Montreal Canadiens have kids because you need balls to produce semen." In response, the Habs went out and meekly took their sweep last night. Nice of Carey Price to mockingly raise his arms at the end as the boos rained down. It'll be an interesting off season in Habsland with new ownership, potentially a new GM, a new coach and ten players free agents...the New York Rangers - despite Sean Avery's attempts to let the Washington Caps back in it - are now up 3-1 and looking likely to advance...RM reader JG passed on this hilarious modification of team logos, inspired by the Detroit Lions new logo. I really want to see the Cleveland Browns adopt a fiercer shade of orange...David Beckham's next European stop sounds like it could be in North London with Tottenham Hotspur...Washington Natinal - yes, that was intentional, this was not - Elijah Dukes was fined for being a few minutes late to a team meeting after appearing at a Little League event. Way to go, Nats, that's why you are who and where you are...word is Roger Clemens had a dozen apartments around the U.S. for various girlfriends to occupy. Wonder if he misremembers that happening with Debbie Clemens no doubt raging?...back with your PTP later, have a great Thursday.

Shut it, Sid

Jerry Jones once again is saying the information about Terrell Owens being released is "misinformed". Nice touch dropping a gag order on your coaching staff too, Double J. That'll do wonders for the perception Wade Phillips is merely your puppet...the Toronto Raptors must be wondering how it is possible Shawn Marion grabs 15 boards in a game. For most of them lightweights, that's a good week's worth of games...are the Oscar's done yet? After Saturday's Spirit Awards, even if Mickey Rourke won the Oscar for best actor, my bet is they changed it after seeing this incredible speech. Honestly, if award shows were like this, they'd be worth seeing. Not for young ears!...PGA ticket sales and TV ratings have been down significantly since Tiger Woods went out. Guessing the PGA and the sponsors will be glad to have Eldrick back this week...Marvin Harrison is said to be ready to ask the Indianapolis Colts for his release. This is what is commonly referred to as a "face saving measure" when you're about to be cut...the Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby feud took a great step up yesterday as a chirping Crosby received a nice wave goodbye from Ovechkin in a 5-2 Caps win. The talk continued post-game where Ovechkin, like most of the NHL it seems, cracked Crosby for his constant whining, and Crosby said he didn't like Ovechkin's style. What Alexander The Great failed to mention was that the Pittsburgh Penguins might be the first team to have the top two in scoring players on the defending conference champions to not make the playoffs the year following. That would've been real good. Shut your mouth, Sid...the off-the-record talk in Montreal says there is rampant drug use and prostitute use in the Montreal Canadiens camp, says Gabe Morency at Drive This, a guy with deep ties in Montreal...it is pretty funny that all this talk of how certain Habs - Chris Higgins and Carey Price most notably - are partying a bit much comes around when the team is struggling. One thing for certain: they are partying no more or less than they were than earlier in the year when they were tearing the league up but it becomes an issue when the team is losing and some stop turning a blind eye and look to stir the pot...still minus internet service thanks to those D-Bags at Rogers who are showing their ineptness extends beyond baseball. Fortunately, have access at the office...back later with a crucial PTP...wanna hear what senility sounds like? Check out Don Cherry on Saturday night. Interesting comment at 6:39, too...have a great Monday.