Stop the world, Kessel is a Leaf!

The long rumored deal that would send Phil Kessel to the Toronto Maple Leafs finally went down. A great move for the Leafs, especially when their offence this year was set to consist of, well, nobody that anybody fears really. But let's be serious, they've still got to get a few more Kessel types before the parade route should even be discussed or in other words, ignore the Leafs AbomiNation hype on this one. Great move. World changing? No. Not on its own.

UFC 103 goes tonight from Dallas, Texas with a pretty bland - in my estimation - main event of Rich Franklin against Vitor Balfour. Cro Cop faces Junior Dos Santos as the former looks to continue his improved form of late in the UFC with a second straight win, that should be a real good one. Full card here.

#1 Florida is a 29 point fav today against Tennessee. The Volunteers have never been 29 point dogs in their history and more than a few are saying the margin could be 50+ for Florida. Guess Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin will probably regret spouting off a few months back on Florida, among other teams, that he said his team would top.

Julian De Guzman, Toronto FC's largest signing to date by miles, is expected to make his debut tonight in L.A. when TFC takes on David Beckham and the Galaxy in a game with huge playoff implications for TFC. Kickoff is 10:30, coverage on SportsNet.

St. Louis Cardinal Matt Holliday hit an okay .286 with Oakland. Since moving to the Cards, he's feasting on inferior NL pitching and hitting a smoking .360.

You're tennis player Ivo Karlovic, playing for Croatia in the Davis Cup. You blast a record 78 aces in your match. Easy, blowout winner, right? Nope. He lost to Czech Republic's Radek Stepanek in five sets, with the final set a 16-14 affair. Crazy.

There is a San Jose Shark that has perhaps the best porn name ever. Check this out.

Carolina Panther Steve Smith was mic'd up for last week's season opener and as you can see below, he had some fun with it. Check out the 2:50 mark for his comments to Jake Delhomme after he threw his fourth pic. He was kidding, I think.

Friday Morning Meltdown

As a result of some technical issues, RM returns tomorrow.

'stache time?

Seems some callers to talk radio in New York are wondering why Derek Jeter wasn't more involved in the fight with the Toronto Blue Jays a couple nights back, him being captain and all. SportsbyBrooks suggests that Jeter needs a mustache to toughen him up. This is a really nothing story, but does allow me to run a pic of Jeter with a 'stache photoshopped in.

It turns out that it was two teens who spray painted a message on the lawn of Buffalo Bill Leodis McKelvin. McKelvin is willing to forgive and forget. Meantime, Terrell Owens attributed the act to ignorance, and added that it'll be interesting to see if anything is spray painted on McKelvin's lawn "once we make it to the playoffs." Two things: T.O. knows come playoff time there will be about 3' of snow on said lawn in Buffalo, right? Second, he also knows the Bills aren't going to the playoffs, right? The paint job featured the score and a certain part of the male anatomy in white.

When anticipating an entertaining game, it is always best to see if Jose Mourinho is anywhere near the sidelines. Despite being at home, The Special One had his Inter Milan side looking like they had no interest in opening up their attack and the result was mostly a dull game against Barcelona that finished a scoreless draw.

America, this is why a good chunk of the world hates you: for making the Old Has Been's jersey the #1 seller among NFL jersey's. Some things I just cannot fathom.

Well, it has been a couple years so it is about time that the name Washington Redskins was brought back into the spotlight as being offensive to Native American groups. A group of Natives is looking to have the Supreme Court reverse a ruling a few years back that allowed the team name to stand.

I'm working my 6th or 7th lapper in the last decade or so I figure. I've yet to find one that doesn't get hotter than the surface of the sun after actually using it as a "laptop". Very, very annoying.

The 10th season of the Ultimate Fighter got under way last night and Rampage Jackson and Rashad Evans have the hate cranked to max for each other. Kimbo Slice may as well have walked in with a target on his back for how much the rest of the guys were fired up to take him out. Rumor has it he goes out in his first fight. Time will tell.

Speaking of "seasons" and T.V., the sixth season of The Office gets under way tonight. Can't say I get amped up for a lot of regular TV, but for The Office, I sure do.

The Dallas Cowboys opener of their new stadium, Cowboys Stadium, on Sunday night against the New York Giants will see over 100,000 in attendance, and may take a run at the league record of 103,467 set at Azteca Stadium in Mexico City in 2005 when the San Francisco 49ers and Arizona Cardinals tangled.

An aide to a U.S. politician rolled into Israel wearing a green Washington Nationals hat, and got a whole lot of attention from security there who questioned him about his hat repeatedly, and with more than a little hostility. Turns out the vaguely Arabic "W" on the front, combined with the green, had the security thinking it was a Palestinian/Hamas hat. The Natinals just can't get any love.

Have a great Thursday.

Bronx Brawl

The Detroit Tigers have two pitchers with ERA's below 4.5 since the all-star break. They'll play their last 13 against Minnesota and the Chicago White Sox, so the AL Central could well be up for grabs yet. And if the pitching doesn't turn, they'll be a quick out for the New York Yankees in the first round.

Monday Night's Buffalo/New England game had an astounding 94% of the money wagered on the New England Patriots, who of course did not cover. Vegas 1 - Gamblers 0. The Oakland Raiders ended an 0-7 run on Monday Night's with their coverMonday.

Speaking of the Bills, seems the lawn of Leodis McKelvin, who fumbled a punt return, was vandalized by some fan or fans after the game. The police are staying strangely silent as to what the actual damage was, other than something was spray painted on the lawn. Racist undertones, perhaps? Regardless, going to a guys home to do that kind of thing is way over the line. Period.

UFC Fight Night Live goes tonight on Spike TV. Nate Diaz and Melvin Guillard may be listed as the main event, but the more attractive matchup for my money is Gray Maynard facing Roger Huerta.

The Toronto Blue Jays showed a bit of heart for a rare occasion last night as they got into a brawl with the New York Yankees. The result left Jays pitcher Jesse Carlson with a lump on his head that was starting to rival the famous growth on boxer Hasim Rahman's head once in a fight against Evander Holyfield, which you can see here if you like. If the Jays had shown that kind of fight before, they might not be 26.5 out. Maybe 24.5? Word is that it was John McDonald that gave Yanks manager Joe Girardi a bit of a shiner. If so, that is McDonald's first hard hit since...ever. All joking aside, the Yankees don't need to be getting into it with a team that is well below them, nothing to gain at this time of year when you should have your eye on the playoffs.

Group play in the Champions League got under way yesterday and Cristiano Ronaldo scored a pair from long range in Real Madrid's 5-2 win over FC Zurich. Manchester United downed Besiktas and Chelsea knocked off Porto, among others. As far as today goes, they don't get much more attractive than Barcelona and Inter Milan, who will play in Italy today at 2:45.

Have a great Wednesday.

Do you know this man?

Juan Martin Del Potro is your U.S. Open men's tennis champion after a stunning upset win over Roger Federer in five sets. Did anybody figure that RF would lose in a major final against Del Potro? Me neither.

Over my years of watching football, I've seen the Buffalo Bills have some impressive flame outs when they seemingly had a game won. Music City Miracle comes to mind, for sure. Last night's bed soiling was almost on par with that one as the Bills had the game all but won, in New England, and ended up on the wrong end of a last minute, 25-24 thriller to Tom Brady and the Pats. And hey, wasn't the last time the Bills were on Monday Night Football in 2007 that they lost on a last second field-goal with Dallas visiting, with the same 25-24 score?

Three current NFLers are promising to donate their brains to concussion research once they go for the old dirt nap. There was a fourth, but the researchers decided that Pacman Jones was neither an NFLer, nor in possession of a brain.

You know your league is a joke when you're in your playoffs and your team gets bumped out of its arena by Sesame Street's run through town. I'm talking to you, WNBA, and the Atlanta Dream.

The latest installment of "Timeless Wisdom" features Bubbles, of Trailer Park Boys fame. So good. Rocket Science definitely gets my vote for top bit.

Not sure if the future of sports is to see major networks like ESPN customize a city specific website for big sporting towns, but they did just that yesterday in launching ESPNBoston.

Arsenal Gunner Eduardo's appeal of a two game Champions League ban for diving a few weeks back against Celtic has been overturned. Again, I'm all for diving being wiped out of the game, but unless Eduardo was a precedent and not just an example, he shouldn't be suspended.

As usual, Sir Charles Barkley hits the nail on the head on the subject of Shawne Merriman's choice in women, specifically Tila Tequila: “Dude, you’re one of the best football players in the world; you don’t get your women off of reality TV.”

For those about to rock...

The opening NFL Sunday is in the books and plenty of attention grabbing stuff. I want to thank Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler for robbing me of a 2-0 Prime Time Pick start with a shoddy performance in a 21-15 loss at Green Bay. Prick.

Toronto Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson has issued a fighting ban at Leafs training camp. How ever will the players "police" themselves without fighting? The horror!

Surprising NFL stat of the day: the Houston Texans entered yesterday's home opener at 12-4 at home the last two seasons, second best in the league. Of course, they promptly lost to the New York Jets.

The Boston Red Sox allegedly offered six pitchers for Roy Halladay at the trade deadline - Clay Bucholz, Daniel Bard and Justin Masterson among them - and JP Ricciardi declined? Insanity. No other way to describe it.

Carolina Panthers QB Jake Delhomme could be the football equivalent of baseball's Steve Sax, Chuck Knoblauch, or Rick Ankiel in losing the ability to throw where he wants to. He's got 9 picks in 51 passing attempts going back to last year's playoff debacle and yesterday's 4 pick, 1 fumble showing in three quarters.

Didn't get into Serena Williams meltdown on Saturday night yesterday with the flurry of other activity, but clearly, she lost sight of the prize and showed herself to be a mental midget. Just waiting for her dad to call the foot fault call that led to her meltdown a racist thing. It has to be coming, no?

The Boston media seems to think Phil Kessel will be a Toronto Maple Leaf. I wouldn't bet his nut on it.

Trying to figure what is a better tweet today. Sportspickle with "Cutler throws into four Packers. This probably reminds Packer DBs of practice from 1992-2007" or Jay Mohr with "Derek Jeter passed Lou Gehrig. But will he die of Derek Jeter's disease? That would be SO WEIRD."

As stories go, tough to top Kim Clijsters coming back after a couple year's off to be a mom - not that that has stopped - and taking a wild card entry into the U.S. Open in New York and parlaying it into a $1.6 million winners cheque. Awesome stuff. The men's final will go today as Roger Federer will face the giant Juan Martin del Potro, whom Federer has a 6-0 career record against.

The NFL kicked off yesterday, the U.S. Open tennis finals are being contested with a huge story in the women's final and the men's about to go, and 2 of the 3 stories covering the Toronto Star's front page of its sports section are on the Toronto Maple Leafs camp minutiae. Pathetic.

My fav part of the NFL Sunday? Cris Collinsworth over John Madden. Hell to tha yes.

Onto tonight's Prime Time Picks (1-1, -$10), and there are two with two games on the go. The early game tonight sees Buffalo visiting New England (-10.5, -104) with Terrell Owens throwing gas on the fire in their opener by revisiting SpyGate. I have a feeling this one is going to get incredibly ugly. Like, 45-10 kind of thing. Bet the Patsies, hard. Similarly, am playing chalk in the second game and betting San Diego (-10, -105) who should have far too much for the hapless Oakland Raiders. Enjoy.

Have a great Monday.

Are you ready?

It is the first Sunday of the NFL season and no doubt poolies, gamblers and fans everywhere are waking up pumped for it. Liking Cincinnati to cover (-4.5), Philadelphia Under (44), and for your Prime Time Pick tonight (1-0, +100 on the year, by the way), we're playing the Chicago Bears (+4.5 -110) at the Green Bay Packers. As for the pic today, that's over a wager lost where I said twice as many Cowboys would be taken in a fantasy pool as Bucs. It ended up being 8-5 Cowboys. I should've taken into account I was drafting with a bunch of mental midgets. Cowboys win that one today, of course. After all, if you could beat last year's Bucs squad with Brad Johnson as your QB when the Bucs were better than this year, then Tony Romo should make it easy money.

In honour of it being opening day, here's a nice collection of the 50 Most Brutal NFL Hits, with video, of course.

If I do nothing but watch NFL Red Zone today - a channel that takes you to a game as soon as someone hits the red zone - is that the equivalent of going to the end of a movie? Can't wait to see this channel in action.

If you're a logical person at all, and you've repeatedly heard how much Michigan sucks now, and Michigan beats an allegedly improved Notre Lame squad, what does that say of the Domers?

Toronto FC Captain Jim Brennan is now wearing short sleeved jersey's. David Beckham went that route about a month back. Coincidence?

Boxing Promoter Bob Arum gave a curious interview in which he stated that boxing is followed by ethnic groups: "Hispanic, Filipino, Puerto Rican, Mexican." Ignoring that he's mixing ethnicities with nationalities, and that Arum is a lot of things, but among those groups isn't one of them, he went on to declare that fans of UFC are "white skinheads". Very evolved view, Arum. Must've missed that when Oscar de la Hoya was busy promoting an MMA event. It is for dinosaurs like Arum that boxing has degenerated into an afterthought. Here's betting he's a bit more humbled after next Saturday when the next UFC pay-per-view blows away the return of Floyd Mayweather Jr. to the boxing ring on the same night. Video embedded below.

Also embedded below is a very awkward interview with Buffalo Bill Ellis Lanksder.

There were goals a' plenty in the EPL yesterday. Manchester City downed Arsenal 4-2 and City's Emmanuel Adebayor showed what a bonehead he is when he scored against his former team, running the length of the field to celebrate in front of Arsenal's fans. Total jackass. He also stepped on Robin Van Persie's face while he was down. Liverpool finally showed more of what we were expecting of them in a 4-0 pasting of Burnley, and in a great game, Manchester United downed previously unbeaten Tottenham 3-1. Not bad, considering the Red Devils were a goal back in the first minute, and played the final half hour a man down after a Paul Scholes ejection.

Here are the 11 Weirdest Sex Questions on Yahoo! Answers. Strange, and hilarious, stuff.

Toronto FC found the net three times, including two from rookies Nana Atakora and O'Brien White, en route to a very important 3-2 win over the Colorado Rapids. The win puts TFC in a tie for 8th place with five games to go. The top eight make the playoffs.

The Phoenix Coyotes opened training camp and a certain guy named Wayne Gretzky, who we last saw coaching said Coyotes, was nowhere to be found. Way to stick with your team, Wayne.

As mentioned here a few days back, Dany Heatley was officially dealt to the San Jose Sharks yesterday. Say what you will about Heatley, but the Sharks got a steal in only moving Johnathan Cheechoo and Milan Michalek and a second rounder for Heatley and a fifth rounder. That's really more hockey than I should be talking about at this time of year, and given my general annoyance with the NHL and how it is run by Herr Bettman.

Proving he's not quite finished prostituting himself, Minnesota Vikes coach Brad Childress has named He Who Shall Not Be Named one of his captains.

Grumpy Old Man Bob Arum


Buffalo Bill Ellis Lanksder is a fan of saying "I was...like...umm..." Please, please, please watch this.