Thank you, Winnipeg, for the best story of the year

See, if you're going to have a child, you're best off to actually say their given name out loud before you give it, with all possible permutations.  Just saying, Mr. and Mrs. Bonner.

Toronto FC host FC Dallas today at BMO Field with a 4pm kickoff (CBC for TV coverage) in a key MLS game for the Reds, who need to start grabbing three points for wins at home instead of the singles for ties, especially against a team like Dallas that they're fighting for a playoff birth against.  This is the middle of a three game week for TFC, with an August 27th Champions League date against Honduran side Club Deportivo Motagua on Tuesday night at BMO Field.  Speaking of TFC, Jason DeVos at the CBC looks at the squad at the roughly mid-point of the season.

A Muslim cleric in Malaysia has banned his 81 million followers from wearing Manchester United gear because their Red Devil logo promotes, well, satan.  Quoting from Deadspin here, so you're not thinking it was me editorializing: "Also banned: Barcelona, and the national jerseys of Brazil, Portugal, and Serbia (that one's probably not an issue) because they feature crosses on their crest. I'm going to assume Israel's jersey, because it doesn't feature any religious symbols, is totally kosher in Malaysia."

Love this story out of Winnipeg, where a local is in hot water after repeated calls to 911 demanding that they summon the RCMP and find a way to return some stolen property.  The property?  The Winnipeg Jets. Amazing.  But wait...it gets better.  When told that enough was enough and the police were coming, he asked "if you’re coming to get me, can you bring me some smokes?"  Best story of the year?  Just may be.

Not sure which of these Mike Vick stories I find harder to believe: that the Eagles viewed him as the least likely QB they'd deal entering this off-season, or that offensive co-ordinator Marty Mornhinweg says he's back and he expect some very big things out of him this year.

This report has the New York Yankees as the most likely to acquire Dan Haren.  Memo to Brian Cashman: do it, especially if the centrepiece is Joba Chamberlain.

Whatever happened to that creepy Nike ad with Tiger Woods and his dad doing the voiceover?

Disposable razors lasting months?  Thanks to this trick, maybe.  Haven't tested it but will with the new Shick Hydro 5 which I've found lasts a solid three weeks, and this is coming from a guy who shaves his head and face daily.

Pete Rose had a lot of hits in his career, but this might be the best one yet.  How is he pulling this?

The new coach of the French national soccer team - Laurent Blanc - has suspended the entire team for their opening game of Euro 2012 qualifying for their act in South Africa.  Yeah, boot a bunch of quitters for a game - that'll teach them!  But at least Frenchman Thierry Henry scored a beauty of a goal, and had a great start in New York Red Bull colours, according to this report.

Guaranteed win night at Rogers Centre tonight...for David Braley

It is guaranteed win night in Toronto tonight for one David Braley.  Why?  Because he owns both teams playing at the Rogers Centre: the Argos and BC Lions.  The only way this could stink more was if there was a gambling allegation tied to the game and Braley.

Yes, that is the goals scored by individual shoe at the World Cup in South Africa. 

Weird stat that you wouldn't expect: over 11 seasons with the Tampa Bay Lightning, Vinny Lecavalier has only missed 33 games total, but has only been above 80 points in a season twice.  His career average is 67.


CC Sabathia turned 30 on Wednesday. He got there with 148 wins and 1,700 strikeouts.  The last pitcher to have so many wins before his 30th birthday was Greg Maddux who won 151 games in his by the time he turned 30. The last pitcher with that many strikeouts was Pedro Martinez, who had 1,981 at age 30.  He's about the best bet to reach 300 next, and still remains a long shot. Really puts that feat in perspective, no?  Sabathia picked up #149 last night in the Yankees 10-4 win over Kansas City.

On Wednesday night, Philadelphia Phillies starter Joe Blanton was allowed to hit with the bases loaded in 7th inning and struck out. The next inning, he gave up the tie-breaking HR to Matt Holliday and the Phillies went on to lose to the St. Louis Cardinals. Blanton's ERA after 6th inning this yeat: 17.18!

Kansas City, Cleveland and Seattle: Easy matchups for the New York Yankees, Tampa Bay Rays and Boston Red Sox this weekend.

Thierry Henry scored in his first game for the New York Red Bull, a 2-1 loss to visiting Tottenham Hotspur of the English Premier League. After Henry's interview on that joke of a New York morning show a couple days ago, here are some tips for interviewing Henry.

NFL gets paid from networks next year and beyond whether they play or not.  Hope the players are saving their bucks.

Here's a peak at the the top ten most underhyped players in MLB.

Joel Sherman at the NY Post looks at the New York Yankees lineup and concludes that their best centre fielder is playing left, and their best leadoff guy is batting ninth.  Same guy in both cases isn't where he should be: Brett Gardner.  I can see the delicacy about the batting order, because as Sherman notes, Derek Jeter should be hitting towards the bottom with how he has produced this year, but not sure why the attachment to Curtis Granderson already.

On holidays next week so the dailyness of RandoMango will not quite be there, particularly next weekend, but be sure to click over and click away regardless. If there's nothing up by 11am, you can assume a dark day in this corner.

Check out this streaker at the BC Lions game last week. He busted three tackles before being down by security. Word is the Toronto Argos are interested.

The MLB trade market is about to get hot if the talk of a deal that would send Roy Oswalt to Philadelphia materializes and see Jayson Werth shipped out of Philly to Tampa Bay.  Yes, Oswalt makes more than Cliff Lee, who was brilliant last year - and better than Halladay has been for the Phil's this year - but unlike Lee, he's not a free agent heading to the Yankees this offseason.  The Phillies still have themselves a sizeable hole to dig out of in the NL East with the Atlanta Braves up 7 games on them, with the NY Mets 6.5 back, and getting stronger with the return of Jayson Heyward and dealing for Alex Gonzalez.  But, there's word that Oswalt's desire to have his 2012 option guaranteed could scuttle the deal.

Also in the article above, if you don't have ESPN Insider, it is worth that Toronto Blue Jay Jose Bautista will be arbitration eligible and likely to get $10-$12 million, a big bump from his current $2.5 million, and that there is "no way" the Jays would pay that, and they, according to a rival executive, "have to trade him. They're not going to keep him around at that salary, based on one good year."  Why not?  They signed Aaron Hill and Adam Lind to long term extensions on less?

Think New York Mets starter Mike Pelfrey is hurt?  40 hits in 14 innings pitched seems to suggests something isn't right for a guy who dominated most of the season to this point.

I'll never understand how there can be three chairs in a row - same as three urinals - and somebody, there first, picks the one in the middle. Also something I won't get: how great Heineken tastes in cans and how absolutely terrible it is in bottles, even straight out of the case and not exposed to sun.

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson thinks the super busy English season could use a break to give its players time to get healthy, and that the absence of a break hurt players based in England at the World Cup this year.  Looking at how England performed, plus Didier Drogba, Fernando Torres and others, there may be something to that. Didn't bother Carlos Tevez a bunch but he doesn't seem to tire ever.  


FIFA has the subject of video replay on the agenda for an October meeting.  At least they're not in a hurry.

Stop me if you've heard this before.  An NBA player - Chris Paul in this case - wants out of a situation he deems unfavorable - New Orleans in this case - to move to join another star - Amare Stoudamire in this case - to chase a ring in another city - New York in this case.  Hey, didn't we mention that rumor of CP3, Amare and Carmelo Anthony hooking up in New York last week?  Seems like there's something to it.

The Most Homerotic Sports Photos Ever Taken.

New Liverpool signing Joe Cole - who is no doubt a fantastic player - says that Liverpool is the biggest club in England.  Didn't know he was a comic too.  Funny he mentions Champions League action with respect to Liverpool because they'll be a spectator this year after finishing 7th.

Happy 20th birthday, Rosie Jones.  NSFW, folks.

Stop talking, CBWhore

The NHL has rejected the 17-year, $102 million deal between Ilya Kovalchuk and the New Jersey Devils.  Why?  Just because guys drafted at the top this year will have begun and ended their careers before that time is done is no reason to suggest something shady is happening.  Oh, wait, it is.

Check out this piece on Chris Bosh.  This guy is deluded as all hell if he thinks that people care all that much about every bit of video from his part of "The Decision" and want to see a movie, or TV series on the subject.  Get a grip, clown. We're way more interested in the $49.5 million pad that LeBron is set to buy, for example.

Generally, if you're famous, on TV, a multi-millionaire, and a two time Super Bowl Champion with the Dallas Cowboys, you're probably not going to fool anyone in the game of Survivor into thinking you deserve another million bucks and further fame.  But, that's not stopping former Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson from joining the cast of Survivor: Nicaragua.  Maybe Double J is just bored?

The Edmonton Eskimos have opened this CFL season 0-3, hot on the heels of the Edmonton Oilers finishing 30th out of 30. Seems the City of Champions is doing much to cushion the blow of some of Toronto's pro sports teams.  Hey, is Baltimore part of Edmonton?

Off the usual for a second, The Recording Industry Association of American paid its lawyers more than $16 million in 2008 to chase internet "pirates", and recovered all of $391,000.  And people wonder why the record industry is dying?

Baseball commentator, and full-time Asshat, Tim McCarver likened the abscence of Joe Torre from the new Yankee Stadium to the Nazi's or Russian communists removing former leaders from history with these comments: "You remember some of those despotic leaders in World War II, primarily in Russia and Germany, where they used to take those pictures that they had ... taken of former generals who were no longer alive, they had shot 'em. They would airbrush the pictures, and airbrushed the generals out of the pictures. In a sense, that's what the Yankees have done with Joe Torre. They have airbrushed his legacy. I mean, there's no sign of Joe Torre at the stadium. And, that's ridiculous. I don't understand it."  Classy, McCarver.  Maybe the reason there are no pics of Torre in the new stadium is because he's never managed or set foot in it and didn't exactly leave on good terms with anybody, and took a blow torch to certain players, execs and part of the current ownership group in a book?  Funny they might be a little sour over that and not have a shrine to him.  And in keeping form, he later apologized for the comments.

How about 25 reporters that should be in the SI Swimsuit Issue?

Love that the agent of The Old Has Been even thinks he's a drama queen.  Amazing quotes in that link.  The drama queen is building up the talk about his ankle that I'll predict here miraculously heals about the third week of pre-season.  I'm crazy like that.

New York Red Bull signing Thierry Henry is nothing if not a classy, patient man judging by this interview on a New York morning show.  Maybe they'd have faired better if they mixed in some research?  Very classy showing the controversial hand ball against Ireland repeatedly in the background.  Embarrassing stuff.

Apology unaccepted

Predictably, Dwayne Wade is apologizing and backtracking from his "World Trade" comments over the weekend.  No apology for being so self-absorbed is predicted.

Pierre LeBrun offers up five suggestions to improve the NHL. Can't say I disagree with a single one of them, but where was "remove Gary Bettman and Don Cherry from any further roles" or "shave 20 games off the schedule" on the list?

Fantastic interview here from the exceedingly open book that is Mike Tyson.  Well worth a read.

Joe Cole is now officially a Liverpool player after agreeing to a four year deal, ending his time with Chelsea. Expect a lot of player movement in the next ten days or so as the English Premier League season in particular is just around the corner with an August 14th start date.

The Capello Index, a website that was to feature English coach Fabio Capello's grades of all the players on England as well as the rest of the World Cup squads, except he actually had nothing to do with it, is now and for now online.  Word is Capello is sour that his name has been attached to this and been made public and wants it taken down so if you want to see how "he" graded players, be sure to check this out sooner rather than later.

Speaking of the World Cup, Michael Grange at The Globe & Mail looks at how Canada will get to the big tourney for the first time since 1984.  I'm thinking "buy tickets" would've been a more fitting approach.

The New York Yankees may trade for Toronto Blue Jays reliever Scott Downs?  At least it'll force him to get that greasy lettuce cut.

Word is that MLB has threatened to  what say you all of word that to fold the Texas Rangers if a bankruptcy court forces ownership to the highest bidder.  Seems strange, no?  The goal is to put it in the hands of someone more cash strapped, the same way they did with the Chicago Cubs instead of selling to Mark Cuban, so that teams won't increase their salaries further.

"We lose 2-3 games...you all are going to make it seem like the World Trade is coming down again..."

Check out this for a ridiculous quote: "We're going to be wearing a bullseye. But that's what you play for.  We enjoy the bullseye. Plus, there's going to be times when we lose 2-3 games in a row, and it seems like the world has crashed down. You all are going to make it seem like the World Trade is coming down again, but it's not going to be nothing but a couple...games."  If you had the Miami Heat's Dwayne Wade, you win nothing.  Good to see he's not taking his team and game so seriously.  Asshat.  A caller to The Jim Rome Show last week said one ring in Cleveland would've been as important to his reputation as five straight in Miami would be.  Strangely, that makes a lot of sense.

On the subject of The Three DB-gos, says Michael Jordan: "There's no way, with hindsight, I would've ever called up Larry, called up Magic and said, 'Hey, look, let's get together and play on one team.' In all honesty, I was trying to beat those guys."
Now that the Toronto Blue Jays have designated Nick Green for assignment, the two lowest batting averages on the team belong to Adam Lind and Aaron Hill.

Check out the 25 Douchiest Moments on ESPN the last year.

Another great baseball injury: Russell Branyon of the Seattle Mariners hurt his big toe while - wait for it! - closing the curtains.

If the rumors are to be believed, Brazilian footballer Ronaldinho could be MLS bound, and to the LA Galaxy at that.

The number "forty" is the only number that is spelled in alphabetical order.  In case you were wondering.

Not sure how I made it this far without seeing Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd mock "The Decision" at the ESPY's.  This is awesome.