Craptors

Honestly, I've seen some horrible teams in my 35 years on this mortal coil, but I'd be hard pressed to say I've seen a bigger group of underachieving softies than the Toronto Raptors, who laid down at Madison Square Garden in a not-even-this-close 127-97 loss. Sam Mitchell is luckier than the person who will win the $48 million 6/49 draw tonight - hopefully me! - for being rid of these prideless pieces of trash. Trade them all, move the franchise - I don't care anymore...tough week for the Montreal Canadiens. First l'afaire Kovalev, and now comes word that the Kostitsyn brothers and Roman Hamrlik are tied up with a mobster. Bob Gainey is getting more morose by the minute...worse still is being a client of Scott Boras this week. If it isn't A-Rod and that whole circus, it is Manny Ramirez not being signed, or Xavier Nady and Johnny Damon having their assets frozen after some fraudulent investor robbed clients of money...Chelsea v. Aston Villa is the focal point of today's EPL schedule. Villa has been on fire most of the year, but have a feeling Chelsea will turn things around playing both Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba up front. I'm betting the Blues this morning...second baseman Orlando Hudson signed for a year and $3.4 million with the LA Dodgers. That, friends, is one hell of a bargain for a plus glove and bat...hope Carrie Underwood and Hillary Duff are friends now that Mike Comrie, dating Duff, joins Fisher, dating Underwood, on the Ottawa Sens after a trade yesterday...Canada hosts the U.S. in the World Baseball Classic in two weeks time at the Rogers Centre in Toronto. Pretty serious lack of buzz, no?...when someone asks you today how you're doing, just say "gruntled." Seriously, why isn't that an appropriate answer?...Mats Sundin returns to Toronto tonight for the first time. There is only one appropriate response, Leafs fans: cheers. Non-stop cheers. For him at least, the home team should be skewered. In honour of the man, here are Sundin's Top 13 moments...don't forget UFC95 is live on SportsNet at 3pm...have a great Saturday.

NBA deadline - so uneventful...

Tracy McGrady will need at least another year before he sees the second round of the NBA playoffs for the first time in his career - he's 0-12 - now that he's going under the knife for micro fracture surgery on his knee...Wade Phillips is still the Dallas Cowboys coach. Therefore, I'm sour...the Quebec commission that threatened to prevent UFC97 from going off in April is now relenting, and the show will go on in Montreal...UFC95 goes tomorrow from London, England and is available free on SportsNet (3pm Eastern live and 9pm tape delay). In your main event, Diego Sanchez - and how is his nickname not "Dirty"? - faces Joe "Daddy" Stevenson. Sanchez fights are always super entertaining, and this should be no different...MLB commissioner Bud Selig made more last year than the CEO's of Apple, Pepsi and Nike. Not bad for a former used car salesman...saw an ad on Fox with Summer Glau and Eliza Dushku for their shows tonight, Terminator and Dollhouse. Who's hotter? I'm leaning towards Glau, mostly because Summer's my season. That, and Dushku is a Red Sox fan...there's something to be said for MLBTraderumours.com's approach to never mentioning drug use stories, ever...not surprisingly, LA Galaxy fans are not too pleased the David Beckham is so openly trying to move to AC Milan. If they said they were surprised, that would be the real shocker...from the Department of Weird, old wrestling legend Verne Gagne - now 82 and in a living assisted community with Alzheimers - killed his 97-year old roomate. No, he didn't hit him with "the sleeper"...for those wondering why Toronto Raptors Josee Caleron was spared a skewering in this space yesterday after his performance a couple nights ago in one of the worst games you can see out of an alleged starting, $8 million plus point guard, it is a rare occasion where I thought it would just be piling on...Toronto Blue Jays stud pitcher Leroy Halladay says he wants to win, and he wants to stay in Toronto. Somebody might want to point out to Halladay that he can't have both anytime soon in Toronto, and time is wasting on his career...Tiger Woods is returning to the PGA Tour next week. With the media onslaught coming, you'll think it is Barrack Obama and Jesus H. Christ teeing off before next weekend is through...back later with your PTP. Damn you, Leafs! That's 0-3 on the year betting against them slugs...have a great Friday.

If you're a mascot, is a dunk worth it if it costs you an ACL?

The Price is wrong, bitch

See Alexander Ovechkin's 42nd goal last night? Wow. All I can say. Watch it here...Jay Mohr filled in for Jim Rome earlier this week and offered this beauty on former NBAer Jayson Williams wife filing for divorce saying she doesn't feel safe around him - he's the guy who manslaughtered his limo driver years ago - because he urinates in the sink and takes Cialis: "how can you take Cialis and pee in the sink? Things are not going the same way! Maybe you do 'the ski jumper'?" Amazing...sounds more and more like Terrell Owens will be staying with the Dallas Cowboys if Jerry Jones hints are to be believed at face value. Get it? "Jerry Jones" and "face" used in the same sentence. Only at RM do you get this kind of stuff for free...Manchester United put on an absolute clinic yesterday in downing Fulham 3-0, adding to 'keeper Edwin van der Sar's clean sheet total which now has the all-time European mark in site, and adding to the PTP totals with the cover. United now sit five points clear of second place Liverpool in the EPL table with 13 games to go...Toronto Raptors coach Jay Triano get booted with five minutes to go. Surely I'm not the only one who saw that and figured he did it to go write a resignation letter. All kidding aside, the February 9th issue of ESPN The Magazine says "word out of the executive suite says Triano has a great shot at keeping the job" and that he and Bryan Colangelo "have a great connection" and "see the game the same way"...the NBA trade deadline is 3pm today. What, no 12 hour shows on our sports networks?...Al Strachan tells Hardcore Hockey Talk that Alexei Kovalev's issue is a simple one: a single guy enjoying the night life on Crescent Street far too much. Guessing leaving him behind on a road trip then might only increase his partying if he's not wise. But seriously, Strachan says he'll be back on the weekend and a decision will be made in the two weeks leading up to the deadline on whether to move him, knowing right now they're not likely to get value for him...Sir Charles Barkley has - finally - apologized publicly for his DUI earlier this year and returns to the TNT crew tonight. He also publicly thanked Alex Rodriguez and the NBA trade deadline for giving him great cover and keeping this off the front pages of all papers. The latter part isn't true...how to spend $1.3 billion, in under three minutes...folks, ignore the baseball will get a salary cap mental midgets talking. It will not happen and here's a slight clue as to why: league revenues last year were $6.5 billion. Say the players demand 55% of that - a slightly low number relative to what other leagues are doing - teams would need to spend $3.6 billion total to achieve that (rounding up slightly here). That may not seem daunting to you, until you realize the league's teams spent $2.669 billion on salaries last year. There are 30 teams. That averages to $120 million per team. You think that is going to happen? Even assuming that the floor is $80 million, that would give you a ceiling of somewhere around double that. Fine, have it, but expect about a dozen teams to close up shop in short order. That arrangement hurts those at the bottom end FAR more than it hurts the top revenue teams. Look no further than the NHL - you think the Toronto Maple Leafs care about the cap being in place? Hell no. They're more profitable than ever, save for missing playoff dates. But teams like Atlanta, Nashville, Tampa, Florida are DYING because of the salary floor. Great idea, if you want to see a third of the teams disappear. Moreover, a cap in baseball will never happen because not only does the union not want it to - though they should if they could get that 55%, the owners that matter don't want it either...have a great Thursday, back later with your PTP.

Bosh out?

In 2003 when MLB conducted its baseline tests and there needed to be 5% failures for MLB to implement testing, the Chicago White Sox to a man contemplated not taking the test which would be scored as a failed test, but the union talked them out of it. Wonder if any of the 104 failed were just no-shows?...shocked that nobody at yesterday's A-Rod presser that nobody figured "Boli" he used from the Dominican Republic is part of the word "anabolic". Pretty obvious, no? Why have we not seen that anywhere else?...the Boston Celtics traded E.T. to the Sacramento Kings. The NBA trade deadline is tomorrow at 3pm and thus far, the Toronto Raptors have yet to bring in a heart surgeon, but are said to be part of a deal that would see Amare Stoudamire brought in with Chris Bosh shipped out. Interesting, though Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo denies it. The Cleveland Cavs may bring in Antawn Jamison from the Washington Wizards in a move that would make for one hell of an Eastern Conference playoff race between the Cavs and Boston Celtics...looks like Alexei Kovalev's act is nearing an end in Montreal. Habs GM Bob Gainey has told him to stay home for the Habs two game road trip...2008 NHL first overall draft pick Steven Stamkos busted out with a hat-trick last night, giving him 10 on the year. If the Bolts can get some goaltending, a playoff spot should be theirs...soccer managers are a different breed, and speak with no regard for political correctness. How else do you describe Arsenal's Arsene Wenger calling today's 3pm matchup of Manchester United at Fulham one that United "will certainly win"? Good enough for me. Man U is your PTP today at -1.5 -121...I shouldn't find this t-shirt as funny as I do...as if I didn't hate JJ Redick enough, his three bomb at the end of the game cost me a split on my Orlando/Under wagers last night, sending it over, and of course, the Magic didn't cover the -8.5 in OT...have a great Wednesday.

Eduardo!

It is a shame that in sport, you so often get hammered with stories of drug use, off-field issues and bad personalities but when a great story comes around, it gets the short end of the stick. Not today. Eduardo Da Silva, who on February 23rd of last year nearly had his foot amputated so severely was his ankle and leg broken in a vicious tackle, returned less than a year later to play two games for club - Arsenal - and country - Croatia - in the space of six days. He set up the winner for Croatia over Romania Wednesday, and yesterday returned in incredible form for Arsenal, scoring a pair, as the Gunners hammered Cardiff City 4-0 in FA Cup play. Goosebumps... now back to the usual, Florida Marlins star shortstop Hanley Ramirez added 25 pounds of muscle this off-season. That is normal, after all...A-Rod's circus of a presser goes this afternoon and his Yankees teammates are expected to back him fully, and literally. Go figure that it might have taken the performance enhancing drug usage of years back to have his teammates finally embrace him. Again, if he's wise, more detail is preferable to less...if Brett Favre is still holding out hope of playing for Minnesota to get over on the Green Bay Packers, he can forget it: the Vikes aren't interested...Roy Halladay could be dealt this season. As hard as it is to imagine the Toronto Blue Jays without their stud chucker, dealing Halladay makes too much sense, no? Memo to Yankees GM Brian Cashman: he's worth Phil Hughes. Plant the seed...Station Casinos is one company that made a list of 15 Companies That Might Not Survive 2009. This might not seem significant on the face of it, aside from it being shocking casinos could lose money, until you realize they're owned by the Fertitta brothers, who own 90% of UFC. Somewhere, Dana White is sweating bullets...one other sign the economy is an issue in sports: the Dallas Cowboys don't have a deal for naming rights to their new billion dollar home, and will likely wait out the economic crisis to get top dollar later...have a great Tuesday, back later with your PTP.

3:56PM UPDATE: Playing Orlando -8.5 tonight over Charlotte. Liking the under there as well.

Paging Roger Goodell...

Lose to the Toronto Maple Leafs repeatedly and you're bound to lose your job, which is exactly what happened to Pittsburgh Pens coach Michel Terrien. The Empties Crushed blog weighs in: "This is too bad. I liked Mike. Thought he was one of the better coach the Penguin organization has had in long time. It's a shame the player didn't step up for him and win more game." If you've read that closely, you're probably on the floor howling like I was. Well done, GS...NBA all-star over under? 264. Total? 265. Incredible. Lost by a single point. The Anaheim Ducks, on the other hand, were not so accommodating in losing 6-2 and giving PTP its second straight loss. Fortunately, had a big enough wager on Man United to offset the other two. Back in the saddle later today, and can't wait for the return of the NBA tomorrow. Also, if you can find a line on when YF wagers next, take the under, no matter what it is...the Shaq/Kobe sharing of the MVP was vomit inducing enough, their interviews together after even worse...David Beckham says his future is out of his hands. Welcome to professional sports, Beck's. His AC Milan lost an electric 2-1 game to Inter Milan...you know how sometimes you just see a guy's act and you get that feeling "this will end badly"? That's the feeling I had when I saw the grilled up Buffalo Bill Marshawn Lynch a couple years ago. Then in the last off-season, he drops a hit and run on somebody. This past weekend, he mixed in a fellony gun possession charge. Memo to Marshawn: Roger Goodell, on line one...San Diego Padres reliever Heath Bell is coming into camp more fit than years prior, 25 pounds lighter. He'll need to be at the top of his game for a very poor Padres rotation. How did he get fit, you wonder? Was it the Pudge Rodriguez "*wink* no more burgers *wink*" diet? No. Wii Fit, of course...have a great Monday.

The only part of the NBA All-Star game worth watching...

Scudeto Smackdown!

If, as it sounds, the performance enhancing drugs issue ends up bringing "The Rings" - Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte, and Jorge Posada - to stand next to A-Rod at the opening press conference that might rival media day at the Super Bowl, that can only be a good thing for him and the Yankees. Sidebar: I got in at 5-1 on the Yankees to win the World Series this year. Incredibly short odds in a brutal division with Boston and Tampa Bay, but better than the 3-1 you used to get in the hey-day...if you're in the top 50 in men's tennis, you're required to specify one hour per day that you are available - and where you'll be - for drug testing. That's ridiculous. If I were under such a regime, I'd offer up 4am-5am daily...AC Milan and Inter Milan will lock horns in a match that could all but clinch the Italian Serie A championship for Inter. Expect fireworks, literal in the stands, figurative on the field. Go AC!...the Olympics are a year away, and the fine folks at SI.com are getting ready for the hockey tourney by looking at the potential U.S. and Canadian national teams. No doubt more to follow...by tomorrow, all Spring Training camps will be open in MLB. Here's a solid overview from Jayson Stark on who made moves, who didn't, and other things to look for this season...I'm sure you've all seen the "Mighty Putty" infomercial by now. Here's an alternate version...The Onion Sports Network delivers this obituary for A-Rod. Funny stuff...baseball's 40-40 club: Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco, Alex Rodriguez and Alfonso Soriano. One of these is not like the others, so far at least...in the Pop Culture Grid in the February 16th issue of Sports Illustrated, former Toronto Raptor and now Milwaukee Bucks forward Charlie Villanueva answered "Toronto" to "______ is completely underrated." Make of this what you will...looked so good at 2-0 after the first frame for the Pittsburgh Pens PTP, but somehow, the Toronto Maple Leafs pounded them - again - and it was a 6-2 Leafs win. Today, playing the Anaheim Ducks at home at -1.5 +139 against the terrible Atlanta Thrashers. If you're looking for other options, liking the under in the NBA All-Star game at 263, and Manchester United over Derby in FA Cup play, despite the -1 -1.5 -106 split line. Man U doesn't concede goals to anybody of late, though of course, I do fear the Kuszcak-in-goal (or Foster) factor in non-EPL games. Tough..have a great Sunday. May the winners be ours!