Craptors

Honestly, I've seen some horrible teams in my 35 years on this mortal coil, but I'd be hard pressed to say I've seen a bigger group of underachieving softies than the Toronto Raptors, who laid down at Madison Square Garden in a not-even-this-close 127-97 loss. Sam Mitchell is luckier than the person who will win the $48 million 6/49 draw tonight - hopefully me! - for being rid of these prideless pieces of trash. Trade them all, move the franchise - I don't care anymore...tough week for the Montreal Canadiens. First l'afaire Kovalev, and now comes word that the Kostitsyn brothers and Roman Hamrlik are tied up with a mobster. Bob Gainey is getting more morose by the minute...worse still is being a client of Scott Boras this week. If it isn't A-Rod and that whole circus, it is Manny Ramirez not being signed, or Xavier Nady and Johnny Damon having their assets frozen after some fraudulent investor robbed clients of money...Chelsea v. Aston Villa is the focal point of today's EPL schedule. Villa has been on fire most of the year, but have a feeling Chelsea will turn things around playing both Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba up front. I'm betting the Blues this morning...second baseman Orlando Hudson signed for a year and $3.4 million with the LA Dodgers. That, friends, is one hell of a bargain for a plus glove and bat...hope Carrie Underwood and Hillary Duff are friends now that Mike Comrie, dating Duff, joins Fisher, dating Underwood, on the Ottawa Sens after a trade yesterday...Canada hosts the U.S. in the World Baseball Classic in two weeks time at the Rogers Centre in Toronto. Pretty serious lack of buzz, no?...when someone asks you today how you're doing, just say "gruntled." Seriously, why isn't that an appropriate answer?...Mats Sundin returns to Toronto tonight for the first time. There is only one appropriate response, Leafs fans: cheers. Non-stop cheers. For him at least, the home team should be skewered. In honour of the man, here are Sundin's Top 13 moments...don't forget UFC95 is live on SportsNet at 3pm...have a great Saturday.

Sixburgh!

You can now call them the Sixburgh Steelers as the Super Bowl champs now have six of the trophies to top the rest of the league. It was a fantastic game virtually start to finish and particularly the fourth quarter. Maybe the best one yet? Ben Roethlesberger completed 70% of his passes and was money when needed most in the final drive. Is it me, or does every play Santonio Holmes makes seem huge? Not sure anyone would think the Steelers win a game in which they gave up 407 yards, but win they did...another season of the NFL come and gone in a flash. The beauty of the NFL is in its intensity - 5 months of meaningful games. By comparison, the NHL started a month later and is barely half way through its regular season. You simply cannot sustain attention for that long...destined to be the hottest selling jersey in the CFL: Saskatchewan Roughriders running back Justin Beaver...you'd think that Michael Phelps would know enough to not let a picture be taken while he's hitting a bong, no?...the Detroit Tigers are looking at trading a starting pitcher or two. I'd imagine you would, when they're virtually all garbage...wanna know what 1474 megapixels looks like? Check out this incredible picture of Barack Obama's inauguration, and zoom to any point in the picture. Crazy stuff...Toronto Raptors GM Bryan Colanagelo is denying a report from Stephen A. Smith - and we know what the "A" is for - that says Chris Bosh has told the team he will not be staying after his contract expires after next season. My guess is that Smith will end up being right, but doesn't have any actual information of substance. He's likely just playing the guessing game so he can end up saying "told you!" when Bosh leaves, which I think he will...Craig Hartsburg's out as the Ottawa Senators coach and surprisingly, Pat Quinn isn't coming in, at least not yet. How a team with Jason Spezza, Dany Heatley and Daniel Alfreddson can't score is beyond me...word is Matt Cassel could be moved to Kansas City, where former New England Patriots personnel whiz Scott Pioli is now the general manager. Could he net the Pats a #1 pick? You'd think so, when Cassel is proven unlike everyone else in the top of the draft class the Chiefs might be looking at...Jamie Langenbrunner scored three game winners in multiple goal games last week. Impressive...New York Giants running back Brandon Jacobs says Plaxico Burress cost the Giants a trip to the Super Bowl. That ought to do wonders for team chemistry if, as believed, Burress comes back...back with the PTP later. Have a great Monday.

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009 - How Swede It Is!

The NHLPA should be filing a grievance over the Atlanta Thrashers third jersey. Clearly, the Thrashers are not trying to grow revenues with that abomination. Yes, I used "Thrashers" and "revenues" in the same sentence. A first!...over 150 Major League Baseball players remain free agents. Expect the action to get hot and heavy soon as we're barely a month ahead of pitchers and catchers reporting, and the logjam started to break yesterday with Pat Burrell landing in Tampa Bay and Milton Bradley joining the Chicago Cubs. Expect a lot of bargains out there as teams are paring back on giving average players huge deals. Translation: you'll be lucky to get half the four years and $40 million you're after, Jason Varitek...with each Ottawa Senators loss, and Pat Quinn looking cozy with Sens owner Eugene Melnyk, you have to start thinking Quinn might want to start house hunting in Ottawa as he could be a great fit to coach and or manage that team. Frankly, it is a shock Quinn has been out of the league this long with his resume...I don't know who should be the highest paid left back in the soccer world, but I know it shouldn't be Wayne Bridge, who just moved to Manchester City. He's not even the best left back in Manchester. That title belongs to Patrice Evra...here are the records of the NBA teams since replacing their coaches during this season: Minnesota is 2-10 under Kevin McHale. Sacramento is 2-7 under Kenny Natt, Washington is 5-14 under Ed Tapscott; Oklahoma City is 3-17 under Scott Brooks and Toronto is 5-12 under Jay Triano. Only Philadelphia has gone at least .500 since changing coaches, with Tony DiLeo at 4-4 since taking over...LaDanian Tomlinson looks like he'll be out for the Bolts game at Pittsburgh this weekend. The way Darren Sproles went off on Saturday, this is likely a good thing for the Chargers...Canada played fantastic against Sweden in the gold medal game at the World Junior Hockey Championships and were well worth the 5-1 score. Canuck goalie Dustin Tokarski was far more stable than the past couple games and made a big difference, though Sweden preferring to shoot with their asses against the wall tended to help. Two things. One, don't tell me that fighting is part of the game. There were no fights at this tourney despite it being "part of the game" and the hockey blew away anything the NHL produced of late. Two, hate to break it to the puckheads reading here, but diving is very much a "part of the game" right now. The Swedish goalie led the parade, but he was by no means alone...as an added bonus, Canada covered the -1 and that's now 4-1 on the year for Prime Time Picks. This pace keeps up and I may be asking that you chip off 10%. Tonight, we're playing our first NBA pick of the year and taking the New York Knicks - no, that isn't a typo - to cover the 2 (-105) at Oklahoma City...had I seen HBO's "Hard Knocks" on the Dallas Cowboys training camp earlier this year instead of yesterday, I might've been spared a lot of heartache. Said coach Wade Phillips: "if last year was a cupcake camp, this year is a marshmallow" on how he focuses on keeping players healthy but not allowing too much contact in camp. You reap what you sow, Wade. That's why your team was so mentally soft and shunned tackling as often as not...have a great Tuesday.

Saturday, December 13th, 2008

Best nickname I've heard yet for CC Sabathia, replacing "Carbs & Calories", is "Cha Ching"...another day, another pitcher inked for the New York Yankees and that'd be AJ Burnett. The question for the Yankees will be if Burnett has indeed turned the corner or will he revert back to non-contract year form. One certainty: there will be no hiding for him in the Bronx. No doubt, Toronto Blue Jays GM JP Ricciardi is getting ready to make some ill advised comment. I know the Yankees have a facial hair rule - wonder how Burnett's nipple rings will go over?...Liverpool vs. Hull is the big one today in the English Premier League. Hull has played fearless against the top sides all year and won't back down against the league leaders...closer to home, Toronto FC landed one of the best players in MLS, and better still, he's a hometown boy. Dwayne De Rosario, welcome home. Cannot wait for March...the Ultimate Fighter finale goes tonight on Spike TV at 9pm. That UFC does these free live shows is a very big reason why UFC is growing as it is. Boxing used to do so, decades ago, to a much more profle extent than today where at best you see tomato cans and long shots. My money is on Phillipe Nover to beat Efrain Escudero and Vinny Magalhaes to beat Ryan Bader...that's ten straight games the Cleveland Cavs have won at home by at least a dozen. Sure beats a challupa...when the latest Dallas Cowboys drama broke, the ESPN article and headline referenced Terrell Owens exclusively as having a problem with Tony Romo's over reliance on Jason Witten, even when other players are open. Had you read the reports elsewhere, you'd have seen that it goes well beyond T.O. and includes other receivers and most of the defence questioning Romo. But ESPN knows T.O. catches attention so paint him as the malcontent. Terrible journalism. They changed the article to reflect others later yesterday, and dropped it down the list from the previous top billing...never a bad night when the Toronto Raptors beat Wince Carturd and the Jersey Nets, but even better when Wince has a horrific night...under Harry Redknapp, Tottenham are 9-1-2. Ought to be an interesting nooner with Manchester United, minus Wayne Rooney, visiting...the Blue Jays had four ads on Sportsnet last season: one with Frank Thomas, another with AJ Burnett, the third with Vernon Wells and the last with Lyle Overbay. Trendspotting, anyone?...who would've believed that the Ottawa Senators would have 64 goals at this point in the season, while the Boston Bruins have 102?...anybody know that Hasim Rahman is fighting champion Wladimir Klitshko for the heavyweight title tonight? Me neither...have a great Saturday.

Sunday, December 7th, 2008

When asked by a grade 6 student if girls could play quarterback in the NFL, Seattle Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck replied: "Girls can play in the NFL. Ben Roethlesberger plays for the Steelers, right?" Last I looked, Hasselbeck has missed a lot more games for injury than Big Ben...seems hard to believe that the San Antonio Spurs are only on pace for 45 wins this year...15-12 on Prime Time Picks this year and in a 1 for 6 funk. Baltimore is a 6.5 point fav as they host Washington and the pick is Baltimore in this Battle of Maryland - they've got too much D for the Skins to beat, and their offence is getting better by the week under Joe Flacco. With Marion Barber out and Damarcus Ware on the limp, tough not to like the Pittsburgh Steelers at -3...the Ottawa Senators are a perfect 4-0 when wearing their black third jersey's...A-Rod made it official: he'll be playing for the Dominican Republic at the World Baseball Classic, calling it a dream come true. He also said there will be no wavering this time around like he did in the inaugeral WBC. Well, at least there is that...check out these NHLers and their celeb ladies...there are so many possibilities here, but here are 12 athletes who are a danger to themselves. What, no Cory Lidle?...managed to run down a live feed of Oscar De La Hoya and Manny Pacquiao - sure beats a hefty PPV fee - and it was amazing the ease with which the Pac-Man disposed of the Golden Boy. De La Hoya took a beating for 8 rounds - he took 224 punches to the 85 he landed on Pac-Man - before calling it a night between rounds. More amazing is that the loquacious Jim Lampley, when translated to Spanish, sounds more English than on an English feed...have a great Sunday.

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

Check out T-Mac going throwback to his college days with the t-shirt underneath his uniform. Oh, wait, lazy-eye didn't go to college. My bad...the Ottawa Senators are real hot on getting Mats Sundin inked, which would give them two lethal lines presumably with a top four of Sundin, Jason Spezza, Dany Heatley and Daniel Alfreddson. Also said to be interested are the New York Rangers, Philadelpia Flyers, Montreal Canadiens, Chicago Blackhawks, Anaheim Ducks, and of course, the Toronto Maple Leafs. My money - and hope - remains on my second fav team, the Rangers...apparently the declining price of oil has been felt by Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich: he's fired 15 of Chelsea's scouts...another day of Champion's League action goes today. I'm starting to feel a fever coming on at about 2:45 that will take me out of the office...guess who studies show as the worst defensive player in all of baseball? Yours truly checks in at comment 179 (on page 9)...how's this for election news: AJ Burnett has elected to opt out of his contract with the Toronto Blue Jays and has declared free agency. No word on if the New York Yankees have a rule about nipple rings being added to his contract language...there has always been that argument that Martin Brodeur, while great, has been aided significantly by a team that is defence first and defence second. With Brodeur now out three months or more with an injury, it'll be interesting to see what kind of numbers Kevin Weekes puts up as he takes over between the pipes...co-NBA player of the week Chris Bosh and the Toronto Raptors travel to Detoilet to face the Pistons tonight in an early season measuring stick. Bet Jose Calderon is thrilled that Chauncey Billups is gone from the Pistons. He typically whips him...Former NCAA, Olympic, WWE and TNA wrestling champion Kurt Angle is taking his MMA physical today and plans to venture into that world. Will be real interesting to see how he progresses, especially as he has talked of wanting to fight the winner of Randy Couture and Brock Lesnar. My money says he'll do just fine. Angle made a passionate argument on The Max Kellerman show for why pro wrestling is a lot harder on you than MMA...I find it strange how many people in Canada religiously bash the U.S. and claim to be anti-media, but have slurped the kool-aid on Barrack Obama and the "change" he will bring. Fact is, he's as establishment as any other politico but a heavily liberal leaning media has built him up as the Second Coming. Will he do a good job? Sure. Considering who he is following, the bar is pretty low. But don't expect miracles and a sudden arrival of world peace and roaring financial markets. You'll be sorely disappointed, no matter what Oprah tells you. Besides, I'd wager the vast majority polluting Facebook and the like with their declarations of how proud they are of the U.S. for electing Obama don't know their ass from an electoral college..have a great Wednesday.

Sunday, October 26th, 2008

It took a while to get going, and a wild ninth inning, but the Philadelphia Phillies took game three 5-4 to take a 2-1 series lead...Busy day in Philadelphia. If you've ever been to Philly, you'll know that the homes of the Flyers, Eagles and Phillies are all in the same complex - literally sharing a parking lot. Today at 1pm, the Eagles host Atlanta. At 7pm, The Who is playing the home of the Flyers, the Wachovia Center. And of course, at 8pm, the Phillies host the Tampa Bay Rays in game 4 of the World Series. Traffic should lift by about Tuesday...what do Tony Hawk, Michael Phelps, Alex Rodriguez and Kobe Bryant have in common? They did a Guitar Hero World Tour ad. In their underwear, a la Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Check it out...St. Louis Blue goalie Manny Legace went baseball on us, pulling his hammy slipping on the carpet laid out for Republican Veep nominee Sarah Palin for the ceremonial faceoff. Seems odd, don't it? Wipe out on carpet, but no sweat on ice?...word is the Toronto Blue Jays are willing to give AJ Burnett four years and $54-million in a take-it-or-leave-it offer. Bank on the latter...there is talk the LA Dodgers will make a two-year, $60 million offer to Manny Ramirez. If you're ManRam, how do you not take that? When your agent is Scott Boras, that's how...surprise, surprise, the Ottawa Senators are looking for a goalie. Shame Ray Emery is in Russia...hey, no PrimeTime Picks tonight. But, a big fan of Buffalo (-1), Pittsburgh (-3) and Seattle (+5). Place your wagers at Pinnacle...it wasn't easy, but Anderson Silva beat Patrick Cote by TKO last night after Cote blew out his knee...Buffalo Bills QB Trent Edwards is completing 76% of his passes in the fourth quarter. That'll do. Oddly, the Bills are playing their first divisional game of the season this week, and 6 of the next 10...the Detroit Lions have yet to score in the first quarter this season...freaking Penn State. Sour...funny that ten NFLers can get busted for steroids and it's almost a non-story, but one baseball player is even suspected and it is top billing everywhere. Strange...Isaiah Thomas trying to cover up the overdose story and say it was his daughter puts him in O.J. Simpson territory for worst father ever...have a great Sunday.

Saturday, October 11th, 2008 - The Crocodile Hunter Dares Not Go Here

The Boston Red Sox rode a no-hitter into the seventh from Dice-K Matsuzaka and a pair of runs into a 2-0 win and a series lead. With three on the road in Boston to come after today, it is nothing short of a must-win for the Rays...pitcher Brett Myers has more hits than Ryan Howard, but that's not holding back the Philadelphia Phillies from taking a 2-0 lead over the LA Dodgers. They're now off to L.A. for three games..former Tampa Bay Lightning coach John Tortorella, who made a living out of banging on the media until he joined them, teed off on Ottawa Senator Jason Spezza for how he does interview. Weird. Almost as weird as the way Spezza is always smiling in his interview and finishes each thought with what he thinks is a punch line and then laughs...another round of World Cup qualifiers goes today, including Canada likely getting fisted at Honduras. As always, there are several interesting games going in Europe - Croatia at Ukraine, Russia at Germany, Portugal at Sweden and more...qualifiers will cost Toronto FC Carl Robinson (Wales), Amado Guevara (Honduras), Carlos Ruiz (Guatemala), Tyrone Marshal (Jamaica) and Kevin Harmse (Canada) as they travel to face FC Dallas in a must-win game, who, unfortunately, will have Kenny Cooper in the lineup...the first bout in the classic Montreal Canadiens and Toronto Maple Leafs rivalry goes in Toronto tonight. Habs win this one...talk about a tough week for Hugh Hefner. First, Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson jump ship. Then, there's talk he's near financial ruin. You know what fixes that? 19 year-old twins moving in...chicks may dig the long ball, but that don't mean success for your team in the NL. Ryan Howard is the first home run champion in the NL to advance to the League Championship Series since 1995...from the Department of Lame, the NFL fined Arizona Cardinal Adrian Wilson for the hit that left Buffalo Bill Trent Edwards concussed. Here's hoping they also fined the ground, because that looked like it rocked his head a lot harder than Wilson did...Cleveland Browns tight end Sargeant Kellen Winslow Jr. remains in hospital, allegedly for swollen nuts...have a great Saturday.

Friday, October 10th, 2008

Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison was fined $20,000 for criticizing officials after a bad call on Sunday. His comment is an instant classic: “You don’t make a call like that unless he might have money on it.” Betting - no pun intended - that has NFL Commissioner Rodger Goodell way more round up than a Pacman dust-up in a bathroom...Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk wants Mats Sundin, a message he delivered in Sweden last week...it was a banner night for the Detroit Red Wings last night, as they hoisted theirs, and a banner night for the visiting Toronto Maple Leafs, who rained on their parade in winning 3-2. Here comes the irrational hopes of the dreaded Leafs Nation...the Philadelphia Phillies rode a pair of homers to a 3-2 win in the series opener against the LA Dodgers. Game two goes at 4:20 Eastern, with game one of the ALCS following at 8:30...here's 10 reasons to care about the NHL, including snazzy new threads from the Carolina Hurricanes...just so Bukkake isn't left disappointed, Pacman Jones is playing this week...remember Clint Malarchuk, one time NHL goalie who famously had his jugular cut? As if that wasn't enough, he accidentally shot himself. In the face...the average score of the New York Giants first four wins is 32-12...good start for the Calgary Flames Craig Conroy and Rene Bourque: -4 last night...looks like the fine folks at EliteXC are under investigation for match fixing for last week's Kimbo Slice/Seth Petruzelli fight. Problem one if they were working a fix was that Petruzelli played the part of Butch Coolidge from Pulp Fiction and didn't work the fix, instead winning the fight...one big sign that the Leafs management is heading in the right direction: Don Cherry says they're not...Curtis Joseph and Shania Twain? Seriously? First Mutt, now Cujo?...have a great Friday.