Big Papi wants a no-hitter

As predicted here, that Pittsburgh/Philly series is really shaping up to be doozy. The Flyers staved off elimination with a 3-0 win to send the series back to Philly. Two other shutouts last night as the New Jersey Devils beat Carolina 1-0 in a game where Martin Brodeur tied Patrick Roy's playoff shutout record, and Anaheim put San Jose one foot into the grave with a 4-0 win to take a 3-1 series lead...remember when Hull City was in the top five of the English Premier League earlier this year? They've fallen all the way to being potentially relegated...how weird will it be to see Tight End Tony Gonzalez in Atlanta Falcon gear after he was shipped for a second round pick in 2010?...how's this for a Toronto Raptor trade rumour: Tayshaun Prince for Chris Bosh. Discuss...if Boston Red Sock David Ortiz is chirping New York Yankee Joba Chamberlain to not buzz Kevin Youkilis - again - it must be with a Sox/Yanks series around the corner, and that's what we get this weekend for the first three of the season in Beantown. Big Papi doesn't have to worry about Joba or anyone buzzing him, he's far easier to just pitch to...the Tampa Bay Lightning leaking that they were in discussions with the Montreal Canadiens to trade Vinny Lecavalier may be unusual, but I'd hardly call it a contributing factor to the Habs flameout versus Boston the way Bob Gainey is painting it. If that's the case, then a late season coaching change and benching of a star player for a couple games is even more of a distraction...reason #862 it is embarrassing being a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs: the sheer number I've seen on Facebook celebrating the Habs demise. Kind of odd to celebrate that when your team was out since November, no? Had one guy tell me he's just annoyed by the superiority complex of Habs fans. Well, why wouldn't they act that way towards the Leafs and their fans? The Leafs haven't done jack. Damn you, TV, for airing Leafs games when I was a child and making me a fan of that joke of a team, and worse, aligning me with the most moronic group of fans. I'm begging for a second team closer to home...back with your PTP later today.

Carbo-no

Not sure what kind of mental midget you'd have to be to update your Facebook status to say that your employer is "retarted", but that is exactly what one Philadelphia Eagles employee did after the team let Brian Dawkins go and sign with the Denver Broncos. Oh, did I say "employee"? I meant "former" employee. He was let go...Vladimir Guerrero is merely the latest Dominican to let his real age slip after years of advertising that he was younger, admitting he's 34, not 33 as he declared when he signed in the majors. Seeing Vladi move, I can confidently say his knees are at least double that...a couple co-workers tipped me off to a website that, well, it is called thisiswhyyourefat.com. Enough said...in something of a shocker, the Montreal Canadiens pulled the plug on coach Guy Carbonneau and General Manager Bob Gainey is taking over. Guess when the heat is on in your 100th year and your own future in the organization is in question, you may as well take the reigns behind the bench and sink or swim with your own team...a good friend of mine - and TFC season ticket holder - is looking for votes in the "Weekend Wonders" competition by 4-4-2 magazine. Click this link and click on the stars of Anthony Middleton to give him a vote. The winner gets a full set of uniforms, and Middleton donates them to local schools, a pretty noble cause in my book. Vote as often as you wish...as a result of the time change in North America - but not Europe - all the Champions League action in the Round of 16 over the next two days will start at 3:45pm. The focal points today will be Turin where Juventus host Chelsea. Hard to imagine Juve plays as poorly as they did in London, and they'll need a 2-0 win to advance in 90 minutes. Michael Essien returns from a knee injury for Chelsea, and could start. Also, Real Madrid travel to Liverpool needing at least a victory to balance out the 1-0 home loss two weeks back. Should be fantastic stuff...so, what is worse: Holland beating Dominican in the World Baseball Classic, or Canada getting punked at home to Italy?...so the geniuses that run the NHL have proposed new rules to prevent hits to the head, which are often judgment calls. Not judgment calls, or banned under the new proposal: hits to the head by fists. Smart. Nobody will clown you for that oversite, NHL...if you thought yesterday's photobombers were great, check out this fan of Atletico Bilbao - a Spanish soccer team - go off behind a reporter...why is it in the major leagues that players coming out of the dugout to celebrate runs is a no-no except for a walk off run, but in the World Baseball Classic it is acceptable? The reason, I'm sure: the usually lame "code" again. There's something endearing to seeing players, especially on the multi-millionaiire loaded U.S. team, celebrating in an event where they're paid next to nothing, or less...back with your PTP later today.

Craptors

Honestly, I've seen some horrible teams in my 35 years on this mortal coil, but I'd be hard pressed to say I've seen a bigger group of underachieving softies than the Toronto Raptors, who laid down at Madison Square Garden in a not-even-this-close 127-97 loss. Sam Mitchell is luckier than the person who will win the $48 million 6/49 draw tonight - hopefully me! - for being rid of these prideless pieces of trash. Trade them all, move the franchise - I don't care anymore...tough week for the Montreal Canadiens. First l'afaire Kovalev, and now comes word that the Kostitsyn brothers and Roman Hamrlik are tied up with a mobster. Bob Gainey is getting more morose by the minute...worse still is being a client of Scott Boras this week. If it isn't A-Rod and that whole circus, it is Manny Ramirez not being signed, or Xavier Nady and Johnny Damon having their assets frozen after some fraudulent investor robbed clients of money...Chelsea v. Aston Villa is the focal point of today's EPL schedule. Villa has been on fire most of the year, but have a feeling Chelsea will turn things around playing both Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba up front. I'm betting the Blues this morning...second baseman Orlando Hudson signed for a year and $3.4 million with the LA Dodgers. That, friends, is one hell of a bargain for a plus glove and bat...hope Carrie Underwood and Hillary Duff are friends now that Mike Comrie, dating Duff, joins Fisher, dating Underwood, on the Ottawa Sens after a trade yesterday...Canada hosts the U.S. in the World Baseball Classic in two weeks time at the Rogers Centre in Toronto. Pretty serious lack of buzz, no?...when someone asks you today how you're doing, just say "gruntled." Seriously, why isn't that an appropriate answer?...Mats Sundin returns to Toronto tonight for the first time. There is only one appropriate response, Leafs fans: cheers. Non-stop cheers. For him at least, the home team should be skewered. In honour of the man, here are Sundin's Top 13 moments...don't forget UFC95 is live on SportsNet at 3pm...have a great Saturday.