Eff You, Crew

Dallas Stars, Texas Rangers and Liverpool owner Tom Hicks has decided that after the Sean Avery fiasco, future Stars free agents must undergo psychological testing. No word if future Rangers need to undergo performance enhancing drug testing or if any future Reds need to be tested for post game thuggery in pubs...a full slate of international games have taken over the soccer world, except in the MLS where Toronto FC will travel to Columbus to face the defending champion Crew, and bring 2,000 of their fans along. TFC is +404 on the money line for this one, thanks in part to being minus Carl Robinson and Amado Guevara, who are off playing qualifying games for Wales and Honduras, respectively. Wonder if the TV coverage (GoalTV at 7pm) will show a sign the TFC fans made that reads "Fuck You, Crew"..after being called a bad example because of his drug addled past by Pele, soccer legend Diego Maradona replied that he wasn't sure if Pele was a good example or a bad example because he lost his virginity "to a man." It may be 2009, but never too late for a little homophobia it seems...sometimes you see a coach get fired and figure "he'll have a job in five minutes." This is not one of those times. Canada's Men's National soccer team finally put an end to the joke that was Dale Mitchell's reign. Only thing I can't figure is why they took so long. Don't expect to see Mitchell near any team with aspirations again...the NCAA train just keeps on rolling with the first Elite Eight games today - quarterfinals in every other sport. Liking UConn to down Missouri and Villanova to knock out Pitt...for today's PTP, playing France -1 -103 at Lithuania. That one kicks off at 3:45.

Carbo-no

Not sure what kind of mental midget you'd have to be to update your Facebook status to say that your employer is "retarted", but that is exactly what one Philadelphia Eagles employee did after the team let Brian Dawkins go and sign with the Denver Broncos. Oh, did I say "employee"? I meant "former" employee. He was let go...Vladimir Guerrero is merely the latest Dominican to let his real age slip after years of advertising that he was younger, admitting he's 34, not 33 as he declared when he signed in the majors. Seeing Vladi move, I can confidently say his knees are at least double that...a couple co-workers tipped me off to a website that, well, it is called thisiswhyyourefat.com. Enough said...in something of a shocker, the Montreal Canadiens pulled the plug on coach Guy Carbonneau and General Manager Bob Gainey is taking over. Guess when the heat is on in your 100th year and your own future in the organization is in question, you may as well take the reigns behind the bench and sink or swim with your own team...a good friend of mine - and TFC season ticket holder - is looking for votes in the "Weekend Wonders" competition by 4-4-2 magazine. Click this link and click on the stars of Anthony Middleton to give him a vote. The winner gets a full set of uniforms, and Middleton donates them to local schools, a pretty noble cause in my book. Vote as often as you wish...as a result of the time change in North America - but not Europe - all the Champions League action in the Round of 16 over the next two days will start at 3:45pm. The focal points today will be Turin where Juventus host Chelsea. Hard to imagine Juve plays as poorly as they did in London, and they'll need a 2-0 win to advance in 90 minutes. Michael Essien returns from a knee injury for Chelsea, and could start. Also, Real Madrid travel to Liverpool needing at least a victory to balance out the 1-0 home loss two weeks back. Should be fantastic stuff...so, what is worse: Holland beating Dominican in the World Baseball Classic, or Canada getting punked at home to Italy?...so the geniuses that run the NHL have proposed new rules to prevent hits to the head, which are often judgment calls. Not judgment calls, or banned under the new proposal: hits to the head by fists. Smart. Nobody will clown you for that oversite, NHL...if you thought yesterday's photobombers were great, check out this fan of Atletico Bilbao - a Spanish soccer team - go off behind a reporter...why is it in the major leagues that players coming out of the dugout to celebrate runs is a no-no except for a walk off run, but in the World Baseball Classic it is acceptable? The reason, I'm sure: the usually lame "code" again. There's something endearing to seeing players, especially on the multi-millionaiire loaded U.S. team, celebrating in an event where they're paid next to nothing, or less...back with your PTP later today.