More of the same old Tiger

The picture at right is the only time when Tiger Woods wasn't spewing bullshit yesterday. The only way that the presser would've been more ridiculous is if he rolled out Tom Cruise and John Travolta and went Scientologist on us all. Until this morning when I caught the video below, I was about the only one who hadn't seen it or Avatar, and my guess is that both appear about as genuine as the other. As usual, Jason Whitlock hammers it out of the park in this analysis in which he says Tiger asking for people to believe in him is as ridiculous as people doing so and that he's merely a corporate pitchman. Great stones not taking questions, Tiger. Rose DiManno at the Toronto Star decodes Tiger's speech brilliantly. Bill Simmons (aka "The Sports Guy") is the lone voice at ESPN not slurping Tiger and called this a borderline trainwreck. You can watch the performance here. Points deducted for a horribly collared shirt against his suit.

UFC 110 goes tonight from Sidney, Australia, the first time that UFC ventures Down Under. The main event will see Minotaura Nogueira take on the fast rising Cain Velasquez in a heavyweight bout, with the winner very much injected into the title picture. The rest of the card appears here.

NY Mets pitcher Johan Santana either knows something we all don't, or has lost the plot. He declares that the Mets will win the World Series, and he means this year, and also thinks he's the best pitcher in the NL East. Sure, if not for Roy Halladay and arguably Josh Johnson.

Manchester United visit Everton in the most attractive English Premier League match-up of the day, though not weekend. That'd be tomorrow's Liverpool/Manchester City tilt.

If you missed Them Crooked Vultures on PBS last night, one, it sucks to be you, and two, you can catch it here.

Great start to Antawn Jamison's days as a Cleveland Cavalier. 0-12 from the field as the Cavs went down 110-93 in Charlotte. Maybe now Phil Jackson and Doc Rivers will stop whining of how unfair the trade was and that the Cavs got 'tawn for next to nothing?

Seems that the luge/skeleton/bobsled run isn't just causing one injury (death) for one who committed a serious driver error. There have been a few others hospitalized - one with a spinal injury - and others left concussed. But more importantly, Canada won the men's skeleton gold!

The Olympic ice dancing pair of Alexandra and Roman Zaretsky aren't a couple, they're brother and sister. Extremely incestuous pics here.

Have a great Saturday.

Narrow escape

Tiger Woods will deliver his speech to the chosen sycophants this morning. There's a leaked version of the speech allegedly making the rounds in which he admits his marriage is done like one of John Daly's half dozen or so. Ernie Els isn't happy with the timing of the "presser" as it will take away from the Accenture - a company who dropped Tiger, not coincidentally - Match Play Championship. Els is taking himself far too seriously, it would take away regardless of timing and he ought to be thanking Eldrick for increasing the prize monies for the entire PGA. Not like golf has much of an off season, too. The always thought provoking Jason Whitlock thinks Tiger should retire.

Back to sports now.

Canada was life and death to beat Switzerland last night and needed a shootout to do it in a 3-2 final win. Martin Brodeur clutched up with four saves in the shootout and that ought to keep him between the pipes going forward. Sidney Crosby really wasn't a factor until the shootout where he scored the winner, though the constant line changes can't be helping. Damn impressive were Joe Thornton and Shea Weber. Not sure what Mike Babcock is doing changing lines so often. I know it is "early" and he's trying to find the right combinations, but in a tight game, that kind of thing breeds panic, and there's a reason the Sharks line looks the most organized shift in and out. Canada will have to really step up next game to beat the U.S. if they are to get an easier draw in the knockout rounds. In the upset of the tourney so far, the Russians lost 2-1 in the shootout to Slovakia.

Strange baseball fact: the Milwaukee Brewers spent as much this off-season as the New York Yankees, Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox did combined on free agents. More crazy: the Kansas City Royals spent as much as the Yankees did.

While on the subject of money and baseball, Alex Rodriguez will have earned $470,404,010 for his career when his contract expires in 10 years time. That doesn't include any bonuses to come, which could total $30 million in his home run record chase alone, or any endorsements.

While you've been reading this entry, Canadian coach Mike Babcock changed line combinations three more times.

Seems the story we had here Sunday on an NHL team moving to Winnipeg has reached the mainstream media, as the Winnipeg Free Press acknowledges rumors of the Atlanta Thrashers moving north.

That stripper who once accused a few Duke lacrosse players of raping her - they were declared innocent - is back in the news. This time, for attempted murder. Nice work.

Edmonton Oilers goalie Nikolai Khabibulin was busted on a DUI in Arizona, which of course has brought about the name "Hasbeenboozin". Fantastic stuff, Bukakke.

Put down the pen, Mike Babcock.

That's what she said!

In case you missed one of the best reasons for a student to be hit with a detention, check out the picture at right.

Word is that Tiger Woods is going to come out of hiding Friday to make a statement at PGA headquarters. If it is anything like the previous Tiger Woods, I'm sure it'll be real electric stuff by which, of course, I mean dull as hell. That said, expect beyond ridiculous coverage, even though it appears Tiger is keeping the invitees to his trusted lackey's, err, media members.

Canada has a little payback in mind tonight in men's hockey when they'll face Switzerland, who embarrassingly bounced Canada out of the Turin Olympics four years ago. There's a lot of pressure on Martin Brodeur in goal after Roberto Luongo pitched a shutout to open two nights back, to go alongside a shutout in his last NHL start. Anything looking shaky and it will be hard to go back to Brodeur Sunday, though my guess is he does just fine and takes the ball here on out. Yours truly is having a wonderful run betting Canada - male and female - in Olympic hockey, among others, so do yourself a favor and click on the Pinnacle link above and get down tonight.

It was amateur hour for Arsenal and their goalie Lukasz Fabianski, who was soft on one goal, and brain dead on another, as the Gunners lost 2-1 at FC Porto. The highlights of the second goal have to be seen to be believed. Hit this site and scroll down to the appropriate game. In other Champions League action, Bayern Munich downed Fiorentina 2-1 at home. Also of note in the round of 16: if Real Madrid fail to come back and defeat Lyon in their round of 16 matchup, that will be five straight years that Real has gone out in that very round. No pressure, CR9 et al.

Chris Bosh is having an unbelievable year for the Toronto Raptors, his best ever no doubt. But the fans that are cheering "MVP" at the Air Canada Centre need to drop a foot or two into reality. They're a barely over .500 team and while he's important, he's not what LeBron James or Kobe Bryant are to their teams.

It is the NBA trade deadline and unlike the NHL version, the sporting world in Canada is moving along just fine. Would love to see the Toronto Raptors deal Jose Calderon and his terrible contract, but I'll settle for just dealing Jose Calderon. The Cleveland Cavaliers dealt for Antawn Jamison in what could (should?) be the final piece of the puzzle for them to take the Eastern Conference.

Mark McGwire took the first day of camp for the St. Louis Cardinals, his first day as the Cards hitting coach, to apologize for steroid use. He commented that he thinks "people understand how truly sorry I [am]" to which people responded, nodding: "not very".

Cincinnati Bengal Chad Ochocinco wants Terrell Owens to join the Bengals so badly he'll take a paycut to do so, or at least that is what he says here. He also reveals he and QB Carson Palmer aren't exactly best of friends in the off-season.

Tom Verducci at SI.com presents his annual look at "at risk" pitchers, those that had a considerable increase in innings from last season to the season prior by age 25 or younger pitchers.

As if the world needed more reasons to mock Dallas Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips, he gave it one. When Wade Phillips goes on the road, he thinks it is fun to stay at the "Y-M-C-A"...

8 is enough...to cover!

It took a period and change to hit the scoreboard, but the Canadian men's hockey team really got rolling once they did, and were 8-0 winners over a game Norway team, who to their credit didn't try to kill the game. Once Canadian coach Mike Babcock put Jarome Iginla on the first line with Sidney Crosby and Rick Nash, the red and white started lighting up the scoreboard. Nash is a beast in front of the net and such a crazy combo of size and speed. Most impressive was a very mobile and energetic defensive group, albeit against a lesser opponent. Up next are Switzerland, tomorrow night at 7:30 Eastern.

Maelle Ricker scored Canada's second gold of the Olympics, this time in the snowboard cross, and about a week from now, that may be the norm rather than particularly noteworthy if some predictions are to be believed.

First it was a lack of snow that led to the cancellation of some Olympic events, and yesterday, it was too much snow that led to some skiing events getting bumped. If this Olympics were in the U.S., our media would be teeing off on the Americans, as if they control the weather.

Not sure why, but I find it very funny that Pierre Mcguire's given name isn't Pierre, but is Regis. No, seriously.

Wayne Rooney is turning in an all-time season for Manchester United now that he's the focal point with Cristiano Ronaldo off to Real Madrid. Rooney took over in the second half as Manchester United scored a big road win of 3-2 over AC Milan. Definitely my fav player in sports right now. As for Ronaldo, he and Real were 1-0 losers at Olympique Lyon in their first round of 16 leg. Up today, Arsenal travels to face FC Porto and Bayern Munich host Fiorentina.

In the Olympic hockey tourney, a regulation win gets you three points. A win in overtime or by shootout two points with the loser getting one. Seems far more sensible than what the NHL is working, no? Mix in no touch icing, the almost certain lack of fighting and games that are far quicker paced and to complete and small wonder Gary Bettman and the NHL don't want their inferior game exposed to the spotlight, they're afraid people might want this stuff all the time.

Think UFC is doing alright? They've got UFC 112 slated to take place in the money pit that is Abu Dhabi on April 10th.

The IOC isn't happy with U.S. goalie Ryan Miller for having "Miller Time" on his goalie mask. It is a good thing the IOC isn't taking themselves too seriously. The U.S. beat Switzerland 3-1 to open their quest for gold.

If you're wondering, the next Winter Olympics will be in Sochi, Russia, which this week is seeing weather of +15 with rain.

I don't know who ESPN's Jenn Brown is, but judging from these pics, I'm guessing we'd all like to.

I'll be clear here: I hate figure skating. Hate. But I love me some figure skating wipeouts, especially of the Olympic varietal. As an added bonus, the commentator's sigh's of disappointment are fantastic.

Wouldn't it be hilarious if the WWE worked discussions of steroid eras into its Hall of Fame discussions that are always a part of its broadcasts leading up to WrestleMania weekend? There's a lot of potentially great comedy there.

Very classy of Oprah Winfrey to mistake Drew Brees birthmark on his face as lipstick.

Silver Surfer

A malfunctioning cauldron at the opening ceremonies, death on the luge track, horrible weather as far as winter is concerned, and now choppy ice at the speed skating oval. A banner start to the Olympics it hasn't been in Vancouver.

Snowboard cross takes two runs and more than 2 hours to narrow the field from 35 to 32. Only the NHL taking 80 games to go from 21 teams to 16 playoff teams in the 80's seems like a worse idea. Had to laugh hearing that tool of a broadcaster Jamie Campbell call a race "totally rad" in a manner that Pinnochio would've found wooden. That said, the races where four race head to head are wild to watch.

With all the coverage between SportsNet's regional channels, TSN and CTV, you'd think they could still find room to get some huge Champions League games covered over the next two days. Not like anyone would want to see Manchester United visit AC Milan or Lyon host Real Madrid today. The games will air on Setanta and City TV, respectively.

Nice work, Tiger Woods, knocking up a porn star TWICE in your bang-em-all tour. Wouldn't that take some kind of potency, presuming of course said porn star - Josyln James in this case - would be at least on the biscuit to protect her ability to work? And you'd think Eldrick might have worked some precautions of his own.

The English Premier League is contemplating awarding its fourth Champions League spot, traditionally belonging to the fourth place team, to the winner of a mini-playoff between the 4th through 7th place teams. In related news, fans of Manchester City and Liverpool are applauding the idea, and pushing for its immediate implementation.

Not sure how women's hockey is in the Olympics with a field of two contenders, three on a good day. Funny that Slovakia, the squad the Canadian ladies pounded 18-0, famously beat Bulgaria 82-0 and outshot them 139-0 in the run-up to the Olympics.

With baseball's Spring Training but days away, the NY Post's Joel Sherman looks at the winners and losers of the offseason. Good news, Toronto Blue Jays fans: you show up on the side of that equation you want to be on.

Oklahoma City's Kevin Durant has scored 25 or more points in 25 straight games. He's still a long way off from Michael Jordan's record 40. "The Association" is back in action tonight after the All-Star break, and ought to be an interesting week with the trade deadline looming this Thursday.

If you didn't know, the men's Olympic hockey team gets it going tonight with Norway the sacrificial lamb (with apologies to regular RM reader "Norway"). Roberto Luongo gets the start in goal. In case you missed Sunday's edition, take a peak there for a hell of a rumor on two teams moving north to Canada.

The only way that proposing to your would be wife on the big screen at a sporting event isn't lame is if she shuts you down, like this girl did to her boyfriend this past Sunday - Valentine's Day - at a New York Rangers game at Madison Square Garden.

Gold at last!

Alexandre Bilodeau will forever be the man that won Canada's first gold medal on home soil after two Olympics where gold never came to the red and white. Bilodeau won in men's moguls, and if you didn't get swept up in the win and the story of his brother, you don't have a heart beating.

Damien Cox of the Toronto Star asks a pretty valid question via Twitter: "Imagine if Toronto had screwed up the Olympic cauldron lightning? Criticism from the rest of Canada would be withering." Yes, it would indeed. And frankly, more hilarious.

Good to see that NBC - partner of the NHL, allegedly - values hockey so much that this Sunday's Canada vs. U.S. men's game will be relegated to MSNBC in favor of who knows what else. I can see why NHL Commish Gary Bettman isn't the biggest fan of the Olympic involvement for that reason. That said, he's a fool if he thinks he can extricate his players now. One, they want to play. Two, they will play if guys like Alex Ovechkin are saying they're going regardless of the consequences.

Speaking of Ovechkin, he and Sidney Crosby go into Olympic break tied at 42 goals each, setting up what should be a wild Rocket Richard Trophy race.

One thing I'm absolutely certain of is I'll never have much of an interest in NASCAR. But, hearing of what a disaster their most important race was yesterday as the Daytona 500 had to be stopped twice for pot holes on the track is pure entertainment and worthy of a mention. The only way this all could've ended better is if a foreign driver in a Toyota would've won it.

Ryan Getzlaf ought to have put any questions as to his health to bed with a two goal, two assist showing last night in the Anaheim Ducks 7-3 win. Then again, it was only the Edmonton Oilers. I hate that I can say that.

I cannot believe 108,713 caught the NBA All-Star Game at all, nevermind that they were in attendance live at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas. The East were 141-139 winners thanks to a huge Deron Williams brain cramp down the stretch where he fouled with the game tied, thinking the West was losing.

Why is it Cristiano Ronaldo has to always talk of moves to other teams down the road? Stay where you are, play your rear off, stop talking. Ronaldo's latest talk is of going back to Manchester United because they're his "family". Right.

Have a great Family Day.

2 NHL teams to Canada?

Here's a juicy one to open the day, on a day where readership is generally the lowest. Word came to a good friend of mine from a recent employee of the MTS Centre in Winnipeg that they've got an NHL team coming back to the 'peg (details on who coming...read on!). He starts looking into it and talks to a mutual friend who is well connected in NHL circles who asks one contact if it is true, and the contact doesn't deny he's heard the same story. Who is potentially moving, you wonder? Not one team, but two. The Phoenix Coyotes are going to ultimately head back to Winnipeg, and the Atlanta Thrashers to Quebec City. The source wouldn't deny he had heard that possibility, and said things will remain quiet during the Olympics. Juicy, juicy stuff if that pans out. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

Joel Sherman at the NY Post has a great piece on why the New York Mets might want to look at Alex Rodriguez as their patron saint because a turnaround need not be so far off. The Mets have a lot of redemption work to do, they've got a public profile in New York only slightly cleaner than Al-Qaeda.

Chelsea defender Ashley Cole is the latest to participate in the alarming early 2010 athlete trend of having their junk displayed for all the world to see. I think it'd only be fair if his wife got naked for us all. Come on Cheryl, you can do it.

Is the Slam Dunk contest over yet?

When you see a Canadian short tracker labeled favorite and he finishes fourth, and Jenn Heil takes silver in the moguls instead of the gold she had last time out, you start getting the feeling that this whole "own the podium" thing might not happen, no? But hey, at least our women's hockey team throttled Slovakia 18-0. That has to leave us feeling good about ourselves.

It is one of my favorite phrases: "pitchers and catchers report this week". Love me some baseball!

In a sure sign of the Cleveland Cavaliers intentions for this season, they're close to dealing for Amare Stoudemire. I get why they'd want him, but they do know him and Shaq didn't exactly play well together in Shaq's time in Phoenix, right?

Miami Heat (...er?) Dwayne Wade is dealing with some nasty accusations from his ex-wife, who is talking of his philandering ways that led to STD's, talking of how his kids don't even recognize him for all the time he's spent with them, and how he held "drug parties" at a business associate's condo. Your move, D-Wade.

Speaking of Wade, here's an interesting piece from ESPN Insider, where Wade talks about recruiting other players over the All-Star Weekend: "We all are pretty cordial as it is, but at All-Star Weekend we do talk more. We communicate. We're not stupid, we know what's going on around the league. There's a lot of secret recruiting going on." Though Wade didn't get too specific here, according to [Insider] there's one guy in particular he's trying to woo this weekend: Toronto's big man Chris Bosh.

Steve Nash is The Most Ridiculous Man In The World. Side note: Vitamin Water kicks ass, love that stuff, XXX and Recover most significantly.