U.S.A. emulates Redeem Team and pwns Spain

Incredible. That's the only way to describe the U.S. beating Spain in yesterday's Confederation's Cup semi-final 2-0. Had you given me a million, I wouldn't have put even $100 on the U.S. to beat Spain. And as always, Spain kept it classy: they walked off post-game and didn't do the traditional shirt trade with the victors. The U.S. will face the winner of today's other semi as Brazil takes on host South Africa. Surely Brazil romps there, no? As we saw yesterday, stranger things have happened. Can't wait to hear Jim Rome talk about the American win today...the NBA draft goes tonight and you can expect, in order, these things: Blake Griffin is going first, and you'll see a lot of ill advised suits towering over David Stern. You can also expect coverage of the draft on Canadian sports networks to follow 15 minutes of coverage of the NHL draft coming Friday. I believe TSN is featuring projected fifth rounders tonight. Set your PVR's!..it is a Thursday, and if you're like me, you wish The Office never stopped at any point in the year. But this site will help you get by. It's got pretty much every quote worth reading and reliving...Toronto FC absolutely dominated New York Red Bull last night, and even had Pablo Vitti score his first fo the year, in their 2-0 win that moves them to second place in the Eastern Conference. Next up is a trip to Real Salt Lake on Saturday night...as afternoon baseball goes, tough to beat a matchup that will see Chris Carpenter start for the St. Louis Cardinals and Johan Santana on the bump for the New York Mets...summer is here. Marissa Miller sports a bikini. 'Nuff said...ESPN's Jerry Crasnick on the baseball player formerly known as Vernon Wells...been some time since I delivered an edition of People I Hate, so today, I bring you another. Not sure about you, but I cannot stand people who use the term "as they say..." and the like where it is very unclear who "they" exactly are...have a great Thursday.

Boom, outta here...

Pretty cool of the Philadelphia Phillies walking through the stands and a gauntlet of fans onto the field. Their starter last night Brett Myers may have quit drinking beer except for when watching football - a move that helped him drop 30 pounds this off season - but he pitched like the first half Myers of 2008, giving up three bombs as the reigning champs fell to the gonna-be-good Atlanta Braves. Expect a lot of Myers "boom, outta here" on The Jim Rome Show today. If you haven't heard the clip before, it is embedded below. The Bravos were a nice +121 winner if you had it...optimism may abound on baseball's Opening Day, but cold reality is going to hit in Toronto for games two and three where so far, fewer than 10,000 tickets have been sold...the NCAA final goes tonight in Detroit. Not sure about you, but I'm riding UNC to win it...the Toronto Raptors had a .220 winning percentage against teams better than .500. And somehow, GM Bryan Colangelo likes this team...the latest edition of People I Hate struck me on the way to the office this morning. People Who Don't Clean Their Car Off After A Snowfall. Turning on your windshield wipers is not cleaning your car off, you ignorant fools. I've contemplated starting a campaign where I buy a box of cheap brushes that I fire at cars who don't bother. If drinking and driving is sheer idiocy - and it is - this isn't far behind. If you can't see out of 3/4 of your cars windows, you're an accident waiting to happen...speaking of accidents, did you see WrestleMania? The Undertaker is lucky he can walk today after botching a dive out of the ring and going head first into the floor. Looked very, very bad. Overall, a great card and the final match - Triple H vs. Randy Orton - was pretty much the lone dud. I love Free To Air!...Manchester United looks like they'll be selling Cristiano Ronaldo this summer if the stories of them inking Franck Ribery from Bayern Munich are true. As great as Ronaldo can be, and he sure was yesterday, like this move. Ribery comes cheaper, and is a fantastic young player with a lot less drama...the New York Giants will likely trade for Braylon Edwards on draft day if the Cleveland Browns can manage to draft a top of the line receiver to replace him. You heard it here first...if you like stats going into your wagering decisions, Yankees starter CC Sabathia is 5-0, 2.38 against Baltimore in his career, 3-0, 2.60 in four starts at Camden Yards...how about the 10 Girliest Sports Fights?...back with your PTP later.

A 4,800 calorie burger?

Check out this 4,800 calorie beast a minor league baseball team in Michigan is conjuring up: 1 pound of bread, five patties totally nearly two pounds, five slices of cheese, and a dollop of salsa, nacho cheese and Fritos. God bless America. Please, watch this video to see how it is made...either the entirety of the United States is terrified of the power of Barack Obama, or he's playing people to see if they take a joke seriously. After all, he couldn't have been serious about Congress looking at the Bowl Championship Series. What's next, have them tackle the NFL's overtime rules? The NHL shootout? I'm continually amazed at what is seen as a valuable use of time in an environment where the economy is crumbling globally...not only could the NFL move to 17 or 18 games, they might do it as soon as the 2011 season with the season starting in August. Now if only the NHL and NBA could trim their pre-season's to get things under way sooner and ending sooner. The world doesn't need NHL playoff hockey in June...it only took about a decade, and enough votes that it could've funded at least the lower bowl, but the Florida Marlins are finally getting their stadium, and it'll sit at the site of the now-imploded Orange Bowl...now that he's been accused of being a deadbeat dad, wonder if Toronto Raptor Chris Bosh is thinking of skipping town? Or maybe he's just looking for a disguise. I suggest he go under cover as RuPaul...so Cleveland Brown Donte Stallworth had enough time to flash his headlights at the man he ran down and killed last week, but not hit the brakes. Talk about a guy committed to running his routes...Stephen Brunt of the Globe & Mail told Prime Time Sports that Montreal Canadiens owner George Gillett was in Waterloo recently, the same place a certain Jim Balsillie resides. Very interesting...further proof that fools never learn and that Isaiah Thomas can always fool somebody, he's being looked at for a front office job in the NBA. With the LA Clippers. Right, because that'll change things...next up in the "People I Hate" series: People Who Say "I could care less." Listen closely: if you're saying that without obvious sarcasm, that means YOU DO IN FACT CARE because it is possible for you to care less than you do. I'm continually amazed how often perfectly intelligent people get that one wrong in everyday life, on TV, in movies - wherever. Write that down, clown, does it look like that means you don't care?...March Madness resumes tonight and you can look forward to Duke going out to Villanova...have a great Thursday, back with your PTP later.

Cinderella's Night Songs

Damn you, Cleveland State, for putting the screws to my bracket in knocking off one of my Final Four picks in Wake Forest last night...Toronto FC kickoff their MLS season tonight when they visit the Kansas City Wizards. Despite what should be a greatly improved team, TFC is a +302 underdog tonight. Value personified...a friend of mine ran into Alexander Ovechkin and Alexander Semin on the felt at a casino in Tampa Bay on Thursday night. Sadly, nobody knew who the purported face of the NHL - along with Sidney Crosby - was. Gary Bettman thinks the southern markets are worth saving? Word is Ovechkin couldn't have been more down to earth. That, and he's a large fan of Corona...the World Baseball Classic semis go this weekend, with Korea
facing Venezuela tonight and the U.S. taking on Japan tomorrow night. Should be good stuff...Miika Kiprusoff and Martin Brodeur both needed 347 games to get their 200th win. Somehow, can't imagine Kiprusoff coming anywhere close to Brodeur's career totals when all is said and done...starting a new feature at RM that will appear periodically. It is simply entitled "People I Hate". In the opening installment, I give you People Who Wear Sunglasses Indoors. That only works for rock stars, folks. So to the clowns I see rocking their $12 gas station shades wherever, take them off, you loser. It'll stop me from rolling my eyes at your pretentiousness...playing Washington -1 today over Purdue. And TFC of course, though only the former counts for PTP now that we're all caught up, and Manchester United on the goal line - so much action!...have a great Saturday.