Thornton slays the Kings

Champions League semi-final play starts today with Manchester United in Germany for a date with surprising semi-finalist Schalke.  That starts a season-defining four game run for Man U in which they'll face Schalke, Arsenal, followed by the return leg with Schalke, and then Chelsea in league play.  "Big" doesn't begin to describe it.  I'm wagering on a United win today as they've tended to be real strong roadies throughout the competition, rested some key players in Saturday's win over Everton, and well, because Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez is on freaking fire of late.

The famed Billy Ripken "fuck face" card has inspired an awesome t-shirt.  Look closely at the bottom of the bat on each.

So can we finally put that "Joe Thornton can't do it in the playoffs" thing to rest, finally?  Thornton scored the overtime winner for the San Jose Sharks last night that knocked the LA Kings out of the playoffs last night.  The night's bigger surprise for me was a very passive Pittsburgh Penguins squad not pressing the Tampa Bay Bolts, and it cost them in a 4-2 loss that sends that series to a seventh game tomorrow night in Steeltown.

A trio of juicy NHL match-ups tonight, including a pair of Game 7's.  Check the sched here.  I've got Montreal, Philly and Vancouver winning tonight.  Gotta take home cooking in the latter two for Game 7, even though home ice has proved largely meaningless this playoff season to date.  And no, Habs Fan, not working a reverse jinx there, just can't see Montreal losing three straight at home to anybody really.

Q: who's up after Derek Jeter? A: the other team. 

Through the first 300 games, MLB is at lowest rates for runs, home runs, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging and walks, and the highest strikeouts in the last two decades.  The reasons likely include everything from cold weather to drug testing, but one GM offers an interesting take: “The number of players off to bad starts is mind-boggling. It’s such a timing sport. We’re overprotective of players in the spring. They don’t get enough at-bats. It’s exacerbated in Florida by the travel. Teams don’t ask veteran players to travel, so they end up playing every other day rather than straight through.”  Might be something to that, what with seven of the top 10 lowest-scoring teams being based in Florida in the spring. The same number of clubs train in each state.

A video posted by EA Sports promoting Madden 12 included just a snippet that showed what looks to be the one of the Buffalo Bills new uniforms.  Of course, it has since been pulled down, but not before we ran down a screen grab here, below our fav sports card of all time.

Just yesterday, happened upon a TV ad for Skechers hideous "Shape Ups" shoe, and a print ad for Breitling watches, starring the recently reclusive Wayne Gretzky. Janet have a tough go in Vegas, Great One?

When will teams start playing the shift on Derek Jeter?  You know, the 6 infielders, one outfielder one?

With the NFL's schedule out for a week now, it didn't take long for the analysis to start.  Here's a look from easiest to toughest sched. 

Seems all the hand-wringing and tears in Sacramento last week at the imminent departure of the NBA Kings was a bit premature.  Looks like the Kings will remain in NoCal for at least next season, assuming there is one of course.

Dancing with the Stars Karina Smirnoff in Playboy, aka the future Mrs. Brad Penny, of the Detroit Tigers.  Nice work, BP! NSFW, if you were wondering.  And while we're at it, a little Brooklyn Decker, aka Mrs. Andy Roddick.

Get ready for a whole lot of UFC coverage in this section of planet Earth with UFC 129 in Toronto on Saturday with 55,000 in attendance.  I'd much, much rather read about that than the ridiculously overdone coverage of the Royal Wedding.  Happened upon posters for sale of William and Kate at the local grocery store.  Who the hell would buy a poster of them and hang that on their wall?  Seriously.  I'd rather have a collection of cauliflowered ears any day, and that's no knock on Kate, but on the monarchy that is still shockingly a concern to people in Canada.  Hell, there are even stories in the Toronto Star where people are describing what they are wearing to the wedding - not the couple - but the author?  Who.  Freaking.  Cares.  Question mark.

18 annoying Facebook types.  So very freaking good.

A couple vids to close the day out - enjoy.

Not sure how this video of Nashville Pred Mike Fisher fighting the Anaheim Ducks Corey Perry escaped me, with a nice reaction from Fisher's wife Carrie Underwood.  What's with all the WAG's today?


There is over-rotating on a flip, and then there is this, courtesy of backyard wrestling.

This dog got some bite...

Pretty interesting cover page on yesterday's Philadelphia Daily News.  And no, not referring to Roy Halladay winning his 20th game and being on the cusp of the playoffs for the first time in ever.

Dallas Cowboys cornerback Terence Newman wonders it the 'boys practice hard enough.  If you have to ask the question, the answer can only be "no".  One positive in the Cowboys 0-2 start: they've outgained both opponents thus far.

A Toronto FC blogger - View From The South Stands - takes a peak at the just announced ticket packages for next year.  Fantastic take.  Here's another from a fan who wrote a letter to his ticket rep.  Colour me stunned - literally - to find out the median ticket price for Toronto FC, converted to UK pounds, costs more than English Premier League clubs Newcastle, Fulham, Sunderland, Wolves, Everton, Stoke, Birmingham and Manchester City, among others. At the top end of the ticket pricing, only Arsenal, Tottenham, and Chelsea charge more.  Yes, Man United and Liverpool are actually cheaper to attend in the best seats.

The Cleveland Browns put a call into the Philadelphia Eagles inquiring about Kevin Kolb and the Eagles declined to discuss moving him, though it sounds like they may entertain the idea later before the trade deadline.

Check out the numbers put up by Philadelphia Phillies Cole Hamels, Roy Halladay and Roy Oswalt in their key three game series with the Atlanta Braves this week:  2-0 with a 1.64 ERA in 22 IP in the series. Dominant?  Yeah, I'd say so.  Oswalt is up to 187 strikeouts for the year.  Another 13 will give the Phillies three starters with 200+ whiff's thrown, the first to do that since the 1969 Houston Astros.  Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr. admitted they're concerned that Halladay is at 241+ innings pitched with 10 days left in the season, plus pitching in October which he's never done before.  I suspect the Phil's will push hard to clinch and then give the big boy some rest.  With ten straight wins, they're plenty hot to get that done soon.

If historical events had Facebook status updates, here's what they might look like.  Good stuff.

The Minnesota Twins did a very un-Twinlike thing a couple nights ago. They clinched the AL Central title with lots of time to spare, no playoff game required.  So, they've got the benefit of sorting out their rotation and have announced the Francisco Liriano will be opening Game 1.  I've got a feeling Yankee fans would love to see the Twins at some point, especially with the thought of Carl "American Idle" Pavano starting in the Bronx, assuming he doesn't get a hangnail or crash a car.

Joe Posnanski at SI.com takes a peak at Toronto Blue Jay Jose Bautista and says, using a formula to pick his 32 flukiest home run seasons, Bautista's the runaway winner no matter how he tweaked the formula. Does that mean he won't hit 30+ next year?  No, but it doesn't mean he will either.

If you're ever stuck without a beer bottle opener, and twisting it off seems far too easy, try one of these 31 ways to open a beer bottle.

Check out the most hilarious - intentional or otherwise - jersey's.

Stop the world, the Leafs not only scored, they did it more than once.  And won.  I think.  Well, they were up 3-1 and I paid no mind after running into that.  Nor should you to any pre-season NHL action.

Have a good day.