In-termilan-ally boring

The Champions League final for May 22nd is now set, with Bayern Munich ready to face Inter Milan, who advanced despite a 1-0 loss in Barcelona yesterday in a skill killing, sit-back-and-defend effort, indirectly aided by the referee who only made that kind of play a no brainer when he wrongly sent off Thiago Motta after a second yellow card early on for what was clearly an exaggerated reaction from Sergi Busquets, who ought to be ashamed of himself for embarrassing himself and his team like that. Crazy Stat Dept: Barcelona completed 1372 passes over the two games, while Inter Milan completed 373, a difference of 999.

The Montreal Canadiens took more shots - some to the face - than a film set in Chatsworth, California, but did just enough to sneak by the Washington Capitals, President's Cup trophy winners this past season, and also now holders of the record for most home ice Game 7 losses. Alexander Ovechkin handled 20 questions post game, 17 of which were met with "I don't know" as an answer, and three met with a one word answer. Safe to say he's a little sour, and who can blame him, particularly where the ghost that is Alexander Semin is concerned. For the Leafs Nation out there who are stinging from the Habs win, take heart in this: if not for the Leafs win in overtime the last game against the Habs, they'd be facing a much easier opponent in Boston. Hockey fans take heart in this: because the Habs aren't facing the Bruins, the NHL won't have to hold emergency meetings on how to get teams to break an interminable 0-0 deadlock. I kid because I love. Methinks we'll see an all Pennsylvania Eastern Conference Final, with Chicago and Detroit tangling in the West. Crazy Stat Dept.: Habs goalie Jaroslav Halak stopped 131 of the last 134 shots he faced.

Toronto FC opened defence of their Canadian Championship with a strong 2-0 homefield win over the Montreal Impact on goals by (who else!?) Dwayne De Rosario and Chad Barrett, with a beauty. There was a lot of bad blood in this one as the odd punch flew, and TFC defender Ty Harden had his leg sliced down to the bone with one collision. That's 3-0 on grass at home, and 3-1 since Jim Brennan retired. Just sayin'.

It dawned on me that David Stern is to the WNBA as Gary Bettman is to franchises in the horrible markets. Both are costing their leagues money propping up doomed enterprises.

Check out the top ten worst staph infections in MMA history. Try not to yack.

How about this story: Boston Red Sox slappy - on a good day - David Ortiz says he wants to play two or three more years. He may not be on any performance enhancers anymore, but he's on some kind of drugs if he thinks a washed out Designated Hitter who can't hit is gonna see another two or three years. At this pace, he'll be lucky to make it to the All-Star break in a Red Sox uniform.

Freaking Mark Sanchez. California boy gets drafted to the New York Jets, dates models right out of the chute, and now has graduated to Jamie-Lynn Sigler, aka "Meadow Soprano". Damn.

E.J. Hradek at ESPN.com says the New Jersey Devils should make the wise choice and cut bait with pending free agent Ilya Kovalchuk. I can already hear Leaf Nation getting moist over the prospect of signing Kovy. But tell me if this sounds familiar: a pure goal scorer of questionable work ethic, weak defensively, that contributed little to his nation's Olympic run. Sound like Kovy? Take away one nut and it is Phil Kessel, too.

As if yesterday's dive in the Barcelona/Inter Milan match wasn't ridiculous enough, check out this. I love soccer - I can't state that enough - but guys like this shouldn't play. They're an embarrassment to themselves, the team and their game. Be a pro, or at least a man.