Chan Gailey: Sexually Abused?

Poor Chan Gailey, even the closed caption folks are cracking on him as the new Buffalo Bills hire, as you can see in the picture at right.

In the most horrifying news since the earthquakes in Haiti, there is talk that Venus Williams went "Commando" at the Australian Open. Some scary hints in that direction for your viewing displeasure here.

Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis is interviewing head coaching candidates even though Tom Cable has yet to be fired. As long as you're staying classy there, Al. Candidates included Stanford head coach Jim Harbaugh. Word is Davis laughed at the suggestion he looked into Chan Gailey a few days ago, declaring "like anybody would want him". Some of that is less true than the rest.

Scary fact about Felix Hernandez 5-year $78 million deal with Seattle: when it concludes, he'll only be 28. If he reaches his potential, you've gotta figure he's gonna hit $25-$30 million a year, no?

If you're the superstitious kind, the Indianapolis Colts have choked in even numbered year's at home as big favs before: 2006 vs. Pittsburgh, 2008 vs. San Diego. In both, they were nearly double digit favs.

UFC Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar is returning to health and the ring after a bout with diverticulitis, a condition that involves the weakening of the colon walls and, in extreme cases, can lead to the actual perforation of the colon. In what may or may not be related information, the Mayo Clinic has a publication on said condition that posits that typically when it afflicts someone younger than 65, it usually involves use of steroids. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. Lesnar took a crack at the Canadian medical system as he was in Canada when his health really turned for the worse. Guess he didn't realize when he went back to the same hospital where he originally was diagnosed with mono he was going back to a place that misdiagnosed him. Well played, Brock.

Dave Perkins at the Toronto Star ran a great piece on how a certain Minnesota Vikings quarterback isn't nearly as universally loved as he is often made out to be by a fawning media. A wave of the proverbial hand to Mr. Perkins, who has to be reading yours truly regularly. Thanks to ROTR for that piece. Wait, ROTR...are you Dave Perkins?

The All-American Basketball Conference is looking to start up this summer with a dozen teams across the U.S. Rules? Players must be (1) U.S. born and (2) white. Coverage on Fox has to be coming, no? This is not a joke or something coming from the Sports Pickle folks. Real deal.

Want to see what happens when you put a box of wine into a microwave? This is amazing.

You too can have your very own Jersey Shore nickname. Mine came up T-Bone and I have to say, I very much approve. The series ends tonight and I don't know what I'm going to do without The Situation, Vinny and Pauly D in my life.

Manchester United's Gary Neville clearly didn't like former teammate Carlos Tevez scoring against United in Carling Cup play a couple days ago. When Tevez mimicked a talking hand to celebrate his goal, hinting he was letting his game do the talking, Neville, warming up on the sidelines, flipped him the bird. Neville could be in trouble and face suspension and if the powers that be are looking to do United any favors, it will be permanent. Retire, you bumb!

If you are looking to catch any of ESPN's 30 for 30 episodes, they're all available here, starting with "The U" on the University of Miami.

There aren't enough Rex Ryan's in the coaching world, at least not on this side of the pond. This is great stuff.